Are you feeling the pressure to conform to societal timelines when it comes to fertility? Do you feel like you’re running out of time to have children?
In episode 14 of “Quiet the Clock,” I had the pleasure of interviewing Anne Sandefur, JD, EdM, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor, former ballet dancer, and law degree holder, about her journey of freezing her eggs.
Anne shares her personal story of making the decision to freeze her eggs in her thirties, after reflecting on who she wanted to be as a woman and realizing that she couldn’t reconcile her values with the culture of the ballet world. She also discusses her transition from ballet to mental health counseling and her recent establishment of her own private practice.
Anne discusses the physical and mental challenges she faced during the egg freezing process, including severe bloating and swelling after the retrieval and the additional stress of going through the process during a COVID surge. She also shares the conflicting emotions she experienced during and after the process, including a sense of pride in doing it alone and the grief of letting go of the expectations she had for her future family.
Anne and I discuss the importance of normalizing conversations around egg freezing and societal timelines for women. We also talk about the concept of worth when it comes to egg freezing and the importance of owning one’s journey and being proud of one’s accomplishments, rather than comparing oneself to societal expectations.
The episode ends with Anne sharing a powerful quote that has stuck with her throughout her journey. Join us in this episode to learn more about Anne’s journey and the importance of normalizing conversations around egg freezing.
If you’re feeling the pressure to conform to societal timelines when it comes to fertility, this episode is for you. Tune in to “Quiet the Clock” to learn more about Anne’s journey and gain valuable insights into navigating through the pressure and shoulds of society.
Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn and grow!
Follow Anne Sandefur, JD, EdM, LMHC:
Anne’s Website
Quotes:
- “Let’s be where we’re at, maybe this is right where we’re supposed to be and really lean into that.”
- “I feel like that you know I was quite open to okay you just gotta ride the ride here.”
- “If I can do this, there should be a sense of pride.”
- “how dare you ask me to put worth on my potential fertility”.
- “Given the emotional, medical, and economic benefit of childbearing that’s neither very early nor very late, it seems we would be stumbling over ourselves trying to rearrange society rather than women’s reproductive biology so as to accommodate that timetable.”
Key Points:
- Let’s Own Our Own Journeys [00:00:03] Beth Gulotta discusses the pressure women face to conform to societal timelines and the importance of owning our own journeys.
- Introduction of Anne [00:02:19] Beth Gulotta introduces Anne as her guest and talks about the shared passion they have for bringing conversations around egg freezing and the journey through the thirties to the public.
- Anne’s Career Transitions and Egg Freezing Journey [00:05:18] Anne shares her journey of freezing her eggs, her career transitions, and her values as a woman in her thirties.
- Freezing eggs [00:07:45] Anne discusses her decision to freeze her eggs at 34 and the societal pressure women face to conform to timelines.
- Physical and mental health during the process [00:09:29] Anne talks about the physical effects of the egg retrieval process, including severe bloating and swelling, and the importance of mental health support during the process.
- Isolation during COVID-19 [00:13:20] Anne discusses the added stress of going through the egg retrieval process during a COVID-19 surge and the isolation she experienced during the process.
- Conflicting Emotions [00:19:06] Anne and Beth discuss the conflicting emotions that come with freezing eggs, including anger and grief, and the burden that falls on women.
- Completing the Process [00:17:27] Anne talks about her experience after completing the egg freezing process, including the physical pain and the unexpected lack of immediate relief.
- Shifting Expectations [00:15:00] Anne and Beth discuss the shift in expectations around relationships and family units, and the importance of normalizing conversations around egg freezing.
- The pressure women face [00:22:18] Anne and Beth discuss the societal pressure women face to conform to timelines and the existential questions that come with it.
- The worth of egg freezing [00:25:09] Anne talks about the question of whether egg freezing is worth it, the cost, and the emotional journey that comes with it.
- Owning our own journeys [00:28:28] Beth and Anne emphasize the importance of owning our own journeys, being proud of our accomplishments, and moving away from comparison.
- Maternal Desire [00:29:48] Anne shares a quote from a book that influenced her journey of freezing her eggs and her anger towards societal timelines.
- Normalizing Conversations [00:30:36] Beth and Anne discuss the importance of normalizing conversations around egg freezing and the emotions that come with it.
- Next Episode on Dating [00:30:57] Beth and Anne tease the next episode where they will be discussing dating.
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