Unveiling the Layers of Adoption and Identity

as far as I knew um you know my mother my birth mother was very young when she

0:05

had me she was 16 and you know my father could have been you know one of two Colombian men

0:13

and that was pretty much the extent of what I knew you know a few other details like my mother had you know two two uh

0:19

older brothers but that was that was you know all information I had I knew she

0:25

was an immigrant from China um and she didn't you know settle in well and and

0:30

struggled and so you know if I didn't have that information you know when you

0:37

go to uncover something you don't know what that what that Dynamic can be like I have an idea of okay my mother was too

0:42

Young when she had me and she wanted to put me up for adoption so I had the opportunity to grow up in a family you

0:48

know a close [Music]

0:58

family welcome back to quiet the clock I am so

1:04

extremely excited for our next guest for many many reasons um one being your male

1:10

and we've wanted more males on here but the biggest reason is that Drew has been behind the cameras since the very

1:15

beginning of quiet the clock and it's been incredible and now we were joking Offline that little did he know that he

1:21

would end up in front of the cameras with me but um he's been along for this journey and this ride from the beginning

1:27

has always made me feel so extremely comfortable because this is all very new for me so I was thrilled uh I'm thrilled

1:35

to have you here always behind the cameras but now in front of the cameras and um what's been really awesome too

1:40

about your participation in this is that you're you're really invested in what we're doing and I it's like I feel like

1:45

every episode that we wrap you're like oh my God that was awesome I've learned so much this was so interesting so I'd

1:50

love to hear as someone that's been part of this since the beginning and behind the cameras like what what have you

1:56

learned so far listening to all these episodes and what's like been some interesting takeaways for you oh man

2:03

well I mean first off I'm so happy to be on the show it is it's been a journey it's been a journey started from behind

2:08

the camera made it to in front of the camera um what have I learned I'll tell you

2:14

what Beth I probably never would have listened to a podcast like this if it wasn't for being part of it right um but

2:23

there's so much value in what I got out of it uh everything from from communication style attachment style uh

2:29

you know healthy relationship habits uh I mean that in itself is something that I'll most definitely take but then

2:36

hearing the from a different perspective you know because hear these kinded conversations of these women that you

2:42

know I most likely wouldn't have from like the dating aspect or even just the the mindset of like hey you know women

2:50

in their mid 20s are really you know thinking about okay I I want to start a

2:55

family and up against this biological clock which you know I grew up with a sister and a mother and you know as much

3:03

as I got you know familiar with you know the female things dayto day that wasn't

3:09

something that was on my radar so it wasn't until you know being part of this production that hearing you know here's

3:17

this concern and thought that these women have to go through and then you know that's the stress you know throw

3:24

that into the mix with you know being in the dating scene um the pressures of you

3:29

know find the right person and what that looks like and knowing how muddy the the

3:35

dating pool can be really and we're going to talk about that because you're if you're okay you're back in the dating

3:41

pool I mean I think that you have I appreciate everything that you're saying and it's it's so amazing to have a male

3:47

say that because I think that many men and like you said yourself might not know sort of these Journeys or what like

3:52

women go through when they're thinking about the biological clock or like the time's running out or you know men

3:58

certainly have pressures as they go through dating too but then they maybe don't have that other layer of like I'm this age and so I appreciate you saying

4:05

that that you get that perspective having been part of this sure yeah it's uh it's been fun it's a lot of fun

4:11

so a lot of fun well one of the things I I want to start with that I think is going to be so much value to our

4:17

audience and I so appreciate that you have been an open book through all of this too and shared a lot about your own

4:23

journey and your life and so um I really want you to share your adoption story because I think it's really helpful

4:30

in many ways and I think back to um our guest LT who you know she really wants a

4:36

biological child and adoption maybe is not on her radar and I think maybe a lot of women find themselves there so I love

4:43

your your story and your perspective as someone that has been is adopted absolutely and uh you know so I was

4:51

adopted when I was a month old uh born in New York and it was a close adoption so I never knew who my birth parents

4:58

were um um my whole life I knew as was adopted my adopted parents you know I

5:03

have a fantastic family and they were nothing but supportive I have a sister

5:09

uh she's two years older than I am and she was adopted as well uh but she was she was born in

5:15

Korea and so the dynamic that we have is is fantastic uh you know my sister and I

5:21

have obviously been able to bond over you know having that similarity uh though we do have a lot of differences

5:28

because our stories are just different and interestingly enough about a little

5:33

over a year ago I had someone reach out to me on ancestry DNA it was wild about

5:39

seven years ago I I did the DNA test and oh you I didn't know that part of the

5:44

story you did it seven years ago and then you had someone reach out I knew that someone reach out to you a year ago oh yeah it was one of those like you

5:50

know Black Friday sale hey everyone's doing it's very popular like yeah give it a go you know see I knew what I was I

5:56

knew you know um you know from my doctor option records that I was half Colombian half Chinese so I was like yeah let me

6:02

try it and just you know I had more interest in that I really didn't think I was going to be connected with anyone uh

6:08

and so I did it and I saw some connections but it it was all distant it uh you know mostly like fourth fifth

6:14

cousins and you know that's that's very far away yeah and so you know thought

6:20

nothing of it looked through it a bit and I would go in and check check in like you could log in and it updates

6:26

every so often uh it'll update like the results and show you know I guess say

6:31

update the database so you can see uh you know updated ethnicity estimates so you know every once in a

6:39

blue moon I I will log in and a little over a year ago I logged in and I saw I had a message and it was from a second

6:47

cousin oh they messaged you through an the oh wow oh my gosh and it was it was

6:53

you know hey cousin like I see we're related how how are we connected and I

6:59

got it about two three weeks after he actually sent it so I messaged him right

7:05

away and I was like hey I'm like I really have no clue you know I'm I'm adopted I was adopted when I was a month

7:11

old it was a closed adoption so I really have no clue and you know he responded said well do you want to know because he

7:18

was really big into genealogy all right so you know he told me initially he was

7:24

like yeah I traced the family heritage back to like 600 BCE you know I did all this research

7:30

yeah it's it's a it's a hobby of his so I said yeah and you know that

7:36

conversation was like well you know why do you want to know like what are you going to do you know if we find out

7:43

because when you uncover that you really don't know what the history is well yeah

7:48

and I know your story and I know the difference between your and your sister's story so that's very true you don't know what you're going to you know

7:56

as far as I knew um you know my mother my birth mother was very young when she had me she was

8:02

16 and you know my father could have been you know one of two Colombian men

8:09

and that was pretty much the extent of what I knew you know a few other details like my mother had you know two two uh

8:15

older brothers but that was that was you know all the information I had I knew

8:21

she was an immigrant from China um and she didn't you know settle in well and

8:26

struggled and so you know if I didn't have that information you know when you

8:33

go to uncover something you don't know what that what that Dynamic can be like I have an idea of okay my mother was too

8:38

Young when she had me and she wanted to put me up for adoption so I had the opportunity to grow up in a family you

8:44

know a close-nit family and so you know when he said do you want to find out you're like why

8:50

like I said yeah I do and so it was it was a wild week I know you have to like

8:58

I keep keep saying this to you you have to you have to do your own documentary or podcast on on this journey because I

9:04

think there's just so many layers to it and parts and you know you're I'm

9:09

telling you journal on it write on it like there's still it's ongoing yeah yeah it's ongoing and and still to this

9:15

day you know it's still ongoing um you know so in the following week after that did all the research and I had be I had

9:21

like a whiteboard out you know connecting all the dots this documentary with your yes yeah it was it was wild

9:28

and it was in experience for me um the only thing I could relate it to is if

9:34

you've ever lost someone in death because there be these moments where I just become emotional you know just like that be going throughout the day and

9:40

just like there just be a trigger thinking like wow this is what I'm going through you know because for forever I

9:45

had that perspective like hey I know I have a family out there like you know I know it yeah but then you know once we

9:53

started uncovering things you know I started having conversations with some of the family members um um you know

9:59

because I was making phone calls I would you know I was searching through social media and and looking through public

10:05

records and I would be reaching out and be like hey you know my name is Drew Sutton uh I've been doing research on my

10:13

uh my history and through you know my genealogy and and the calls would be like hey I

Journey of Adoption and Family Bonds

10:20

think I'm related to you wow so like prior to doing the an Studio come did

10:25

you H have interest in like finding things out like did it I don't know I'm

10:31

also curious about like your relationship with your adopted family like you know I know it's I want you to

10:36

talk more than that because I think that women often don't consider adoption thinking that it won't be as close knit

10:43

or it won't be the like yeah you know that's a great question um there were

10:50

points in my life where I I thought about it you know there were certain things that were were you know almost

10:56

like a trigger in the sense where it's like hey yeah i a adopted like you know or if you saw something on a TV show

11:02

that was talking about it and it would made me think about it and I knew it was a closed adoption and I knew I really

11:07

couldn't do anything till I was older and then once I got old enough I kind of kind of fell off of it a little bit um I

11:15

heard stories I met people who were adopted as well and heard different you know Journeys that they had and I just

11:20

never really pushed for it uh I was able to go through the adoption agency and

11:25

get information but being that I was in New York and a Clos adop option uh it wasn't until you know a few years ago

11:32

where the laws changed and and uh you know I was able to you know have access

11:37

to a little bit more information uh to get my original uh birth certificate oh my gosh yeah so you know throughout this

11:45

that process you know I actually did that got you know my my mother's name and uh but I was I was curious but I

11:55

always had a fantastic relationship with my adopted family and I say adopt the family just for clarity here right

12:01

they're my family oh I like that you note that that's that's incredible yeah

12:06

yeah the clarity you know the relationship that I have with my mother my father my sister is like any other

12:14

family and um I think that's very helpful for people to hear yeah yeah uh

12:22

like to this day you know you know just just the other night my mom and I were up you know we were just bonding having

12:29

deep deep conversation and uh you know was interesting even you know when this all

12:35

got uncovered you know it's like okay this is my experience right this is like what I went through but it's an

12:40

experience for them as well yeah what was it like for them like what what do your parents shared about watching you

12:47

sort of uncover these things and go down this journey and meet family members I definitely want you to talk to that and

12:53

it was so my mom my mom has this personality if you ever meet my mom she's just like this like always has a

12:59

smile on her face she's like high energy just like this like Love Bug she's the sweetest lady I know you know I'm I'm a

13:05

little biased because you're like the sweet I think you're the sweetest that doesn't surprise me to hear that from about your mom yeah I 100% get that from

13:12

my mother I I certainly owe that to her um but you know she was just she was so

13:18

happy you know she was so supportive as well um again I mean from from you know

13:25

as young as I can remember I knew I was adopted you know my sister was and she's old than me so you know we always

13:31

knew and you know throughout that process she was just very supportive like checking in what can I do for you

13:37

like always always checking in because like the week after you know two weeks after um you know my cousin reached out

13:44

an ancestory I I just like took a break from life you know I took time off work

13:49

and I was just I was just in it and you know I had difficult conversations with them you know I talked to my dad and

Adoption and Family Bonds

13:57

he's he's um he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much right you know a lot of men

14:04

don't we could get into that too which is funny because because I'm

14:09

opposite of that yeah I really do and you know talking to him about this you

14:15

know he he was really emotional really absolutely yeah yeah I mean we would be

14:21

having conversations I would see him getting choked up and I know that he had canid conversations you know with you

14:27

know other family is just like it is difficult you know it's it's something that he has to process because you know

14:33

for him it's like you know this this is my son right like my parents have always treated me like that like this is this

14:39

is our child this this is my son and now I'm showing photos of you know like my

14:45

birth father and my birth mother to them and and for the first time in my life like we can connect the dots like oh

14:53

like I have my you know my birth father's nose like I have my birth father's forehead that cuz I mean again

14:58

you've been so open with us here and vulnerable and like lots goes down off camera that we're talking about and connecting and you've showed us pictures

15:05

and it's like the resemblances was it's there yeah absolutely and so that was I mean

15:11

obviously that was you know crazy for me to see because I've never seen that and then having my parents see that yeah

15:18

that's true like like and I love everything that you're saying and again so helpful that like through and through

15:24

you're their son and so there's always I think there's always this duality of like you have that peace but also so

15:30

probably happy like you're saying happy for you to be able to explore this part of of your experience yeah yeah you know

15:39

so this this experience having you know come to know my my birth family

15:47

um it's it's definitely drawn me closer to my family as well really oh yeah

15:53

share more about that well it's it's you know last Thanksgiving you know uh my birth family invited me out it was you

16:00

know like second cousins who invited me out and uh so I met a bunch of the

16:05

family um and it was just great so like here one you know I was like that that

16:12

lost cousin right so everyone welcomed me with you know open arms and they were

16:18

so warm and so loving and like that's a perspective I never had right like I

16:24

didn't know that you know CU I just knew that I had that family yeah I didn't know that you know like oh wow we have

16:30

family that it was missing welcome to the family and they think I had this huge party and like welcom me to the

16:35

party I love that story I love that story so much um but then again through

16:41

that you know my my family you know that was it was it was emotional for them you

16:49

know I know my sister you know she struggled a bit learning about it uh

16:55

because she had her own journey and she actually flat to Korea um and ultimately

17:01

came to you know a dead end and so it was tough you know and I'm a

17:08

feeler right I I I feel for others uh very strongly and so when I see someone

17:14

going through something that's very heavy on my heart and uh also

17:20

unsurprising you know like with my sister seeing her go through that you know knowing what what I'm going through

17:26

and and from her perspective like that was heavy for me yeah because like you guys have related for so long on this

17:32

fact that you're both adopted and then you go on your separate Journeys and yours looks quite different like you get

17:37

all these family members you get really embraced and loved and and unfortunately hers was quite different she didn't she

17:44

didn't get that yeah you know and it's it's weird because I thought there would be more

17:50

closure that I have but it's just like it's it's not I

17:56

mean I guess it is a form of closure like understanding like like you know where I come from a little bit more

18:01

but all that kind of was was knowledge you know don't get me wrong like now I have this you know the family that I can

18:07

can bond with but my family is my family you know and that's that's really like

18:14

the biggest thing I took away from this that no matter what you no matter who comes to my life like that's you know my

18:19

mother is my mother my father is my father oh my God I like yeah and I think you know as you know you've been here

18:25

from day one and you've been opening up to us and sharing our story just felt so important to have you on here because I know and rightfully so but I think you

Adoption, Dating, and Vulnerability

18:33

know if you're going through this fertility journey and it comes down to adoption I think there's sometimes

18:38

resistance to that so I guess what would you say to someone that's maybe at that point where they're you know their last

18:45

option is adoption or they're thinking about adoption every child's journey is is different right the reason that they

18:51

were put up for adoption is different how they handle you know everything

18:57

emotionally is going to be be different and that's the reality of it right but

19:02

what also is a reality is that bond that you can create with that child can be forever you know that could

19:10

be the strongest bond that you'll ever have and it's giving me a perspective that you know I know blood relatives now

19:18

right I know blood relatives and I have you know friends who have family that they're not even close with yeah that's

19:24

so true so true and so is it possible that you may need to give

19:32

a little bit more love and nurturing and have a little more understanding of what

19:39

what impact adoption can have on a child yeah definitely you know you know should you do a little more research and and

19:45

you do due diligence yeah I'd recommend it um but it's absolutely a viable

19:53

option well it's been for you it sounds like it's been a lovely option yeah yeah

19:58

you know I grew up in in a love family I had a a great childhood and you know to this day you know strong bond and I

20:05

can't ask for more I really can't well and you're also a dad now I am a dad and

20:11

you know the wild thing here is the the the cousin who reached out to me oh my God yes this is wild you have to share

20:18

that yeah the cousin who reached out to me his name is Julian he lives out in Texas and my son's name is Julian I'm so

20:25

glad we yes yes that's a wild part of the story too yeah so it's um it just

20:31

seemed you know serendipitous um you know unfortunately

20:36

you know Julian's mother and I were're not together anymore um his mother is Colombian uh so you know my cousin who

20:44

reached out he's Colombian so you know meeting the family you know I learned a little bit about that that Heritage the

20:50

Colombian Heritage as well so that helped me get ingrained into the family even more so so there are a lot of things that just kind of like lined up

20:57

and we're saying it is yeah even it's just interesting to think about life in that way just how things line up or work

21:03

out like and we're joking before like you probably never picked yourself doing this or being in the hot seat and

21:08

everything you've learned since being here and I so appreciate you sharing this journey and I think it's so it's so

21:13

helpful it's just a different perspective and lens on all the conversations that we're we're having here so it's always helpful to have

21:20

firsthand experience um and I just appreciate like your vulnerability your

21:25

openness you are very sweet you are someone that is very like I think emotionally in tune um and so we did

21:33

want to I did want to talk about the dating piece because you are in the dating world and we are always dying to have men on here to share their lens and

21:41

I I would be curious to hear kind of anything you've taken from here that you use as you date like now that you've

21:47

heard these some stories of other women dating like has it helped like what do you what's like top of Mind as you're in

21:54

the dating world what's being in the dating world like for you being in the dating world is is interesting now and getting thrown

22:01

back into the mix um the perspective I have is completely

22:07

different uh you know I have a three-year-old son now so you know anyone who I'm you know interested in

22:13

like that's going to be a huge motiving Factor okay like this is going to be the stepmother to to my son potentially the

22:20

key takeaways from what I've heard on the podcast I mean there there's so much there there's there's so much um

22:29

you know being mindful of what's important to bring to the table you know

22:34

because a lot of the conversations in past episodes you know have presented you know what's really valuable in in a

22:42

woman's mind when she goes on a date right because from from a guy's

22:47

perspective it's completely different oh you have to tell us about that oh man well that's like I don't know how raw we

22:53

want to get here it's all good whatever you want to share but you know there are a lot of guys out there who were just kind of in it to uh get another you know

23:01

belt loop in their not notch in their belt right like so and then there are guys who truly genuinely you know want

23:08

to be in a relationship um you I read something recently like you know look

23:14

for look for a guy who you know doesn't want a wife but wants to be a husband

23:21

ooh ooh o ooh that's amazing cuz that that's the mindset right like what's the motivating Dr

23:27

driver in that and uh you know I think you know especially now I

23:35

feel like we've entered an era where like dating is it's very superficial we know how how how that is um you know you

23:45

put on your your your your best clothes and your best personality you go out for a drink and like hey I'm amazing you

23:51

know this is why you should sleep with me or like whatever right but like if you want to have a true true con nection

23:58

be vulnerable I think a lot of people struggle with that and that's really really hard and I think that when you

24:05

can't be and not to say it has to be on the first date but like you're really trying to get to know who in front of

24:10

you and if there if it is the facade of the nice clothes and the whatever best self you're not going to see that and I think that's yeah it's a real barrier

24:17

when people struggle to be vulnerable yeah yeah um you know since ier to the

24:22

dating pool like you know one of the conversations that I like to have Straight Out The Gate like you know I'm not really here for the small talk like

24:28

I really want to like I want to dive in like I want to get to know you and get to know me like what's the purpose what's the intent right and I don't

24:34

think women should be you know should hold back in you know approaching it like that you know if someone wants to

24:40

get into a relationship and wants something serious like the purpose of dating you know if you're really looking

24:45

to to get married what's the purpose of dating it's going to be getting to know someone getting to know you know how you're compatible when I was younger I

24:52

really didn't you know I didn't look at it with that mindset you know I've you

24:58

know since then I've definitely grown to be my own person and you know understand myself and it's also you know

25:05

understanding yourself is so important because you start to understand you know what you need what you're looking for in

25:10

a partner well you're like dating blindly if you don't know what you want or what you need and I think through experience and other relationships you

25:17

learn that and it's a lot of work I do with clients is like get really clear on what you need because otherwise you're going and blind like you you don't know

25:23

what you want you don't know how to recognize like if that person's offering that or not yeah yeah you know for that

25:28

deep true connection you know you need to know what your weaknesses are right can the person that you're talking to can they be someone who can support that

25:35

yeah do you find that going in like deep diving like you said do do you find that women are surprised by that because I

25:41

think that is not the norm on first dates or that's not the norm that men are most men are offering on a first

25:48

date like let's cut the small talk let's dive in let's be vulnerable do you have you found that women are like surprised

25:54

by that a little bit Yeah Yeah but I've also found that it's cre it's created a

26:00

uh connection MH yeah yeah cuz when you show that vulnerability like I've had

26:05

conversations uh with this you know one person who I'm dating like and she said you know she was so surprised that you

26:12

know she developed this connection so fast because you know like you know one

26:17

of the first conversations I was vulnerable and that develops trust right that develops a deep connection yeah and

Exploring Transparency and Vulnerability in Dating

26:24

then it invites someone else to be vulnerable too especially if I think especially if men are leading with vulnerability it's much easier for women

26:31

I think often men don't and so women are afraid to be vulnerable and then you have two people sitting across from each

26:37

other that are just not yeah open I think I think my question is like okay if if you're not going to be vulnerable like why is

26:43

that yeah and for everybody there's many many reasons there's a real fear to vulnerability it is you know because

26:49

it's true When You're vulnerable like you're opening yourself up to to you know get hurt and what they were talking

26:56

I recently heard heard the difference between transparency and vulnerability o right and uh how does this go oh I

27:03

forget what that was we'll have to find it but I that's really that distinction is probably really huge I never thought

27:08

about that but they can be very different yeah you know when you're transparent you are you know it's okay

27:14

for you to you know give a reason of you know what you experience but When You're vulnerable it's like why like how did

27:21

you get to that emotion attached to it o I love that I love that well anyone's

27:26

lucky to be dating Drew cuz you're just you're no you're great I've I I have like been so grateful to have you here

27:34

part of this journey because this is all new for me and continues to you know I continue to learn but like you've always

27:39

been in the background like just making me feel really comfortable like no judgment no nothing like just so I

27:46

imagine when you go out on dates and the women that get to connect with you like you you do the same for them so I think

27:51

that's just thank you yeah Testament to who you are really appreciate that well

27:56

I appreciate you being here and sharing and we we said to Drew before that he stuck with us forever yeah absolutely

28:03

I'd love to be stuck with you forever anything any parting words for the audience or anything that you would

28:08

share based on just your your journey dating adoption fatherhood vulnerability

28:15

I think a lot of people Overlook connection right and what what can

28:20

connection look like could be anything from a friend to a romantic partner to

28:26

family and and the bonds that we develop throughout life you know we can grow

28:31

from them uh we can learn a lot from them you know one of the things that I always try to do is you know recognize

28:40

that who I am today is a part of it is from everyone who

28:45

I've met and I've connected with in the past right so wherever you are again whether it's

28:51

just a friend if you're in the dating scene you know a lot of people listening to this are are in the dating scene you know yes you may have that goal that

28:57

ambition to you know have a family but also recognize that like hey as you're getting to know people like that's

29:03

that's a season in your life that is valuable I love that I think that's so

29:08

helpful in dating too because even even if they're not going to end up being your partner like what value is this going to bring like if I'm more

29:14

vulnerable and there's some kind of connection what do I learn about somebody else what do I learn about myself so like uh another guest had said

29:20

this to us uh oh is Kate that nothing is wasted right and I think a lot of women I don't know if men hold the same

29:25

narrative you could probably speak to that but like you know it's a waste of time to go on this date it's a waste of

29:31

time to go on an next date with this guy and it's always this idea it's like a waste of time but sounds like what you're saying it's like it doesn't have

29:36

to be like there can be some takeaway from that there can be a point of connection there can be something that you learn 100% you go to a networking

29:43

event for like a professional networking event you meet people right you know if you go on a date you're still meeting someone you know I think too what you

29:50

know as you're talking about like connection and we're talking about vulnerability I think that's what's been so great about this here it's like it's

29:57

been vulnerable for me to do this and and you've been so amazing and incredible and you've been vulnerable with us and I I think we have like again

30:04

you're stuck with us forever and I think we have this amazing connection because of that because there's been

30:09

vulnerability oh absolutely 100% Sony I was joking uh earlier that just like being able to be on this show you know

30:15

like who knows what will come from it you know well I'm telling you you need a documentary you need a podcast you need

30:20

to be talking to other men out there you need to be doing all of the things and I think it's also helpful what you said

30:25

too it's like yes there are men that you know want the notch on their belt or just looking for sex but there are men

30:32

like you there are other men out there like you that are looking for relationships and want connection and I think the frustration for women is like

30:40

you know where where are they so it's helpful to hear ladies there are men out

30:45

there that want Rel good good men good good good men that want relationship and connection yeah yeah 100% And it's funny

30:53

a couple of the things that I was thinking of um I heard on the show that I had an opinion on um one the age

31:02

difference right the age Gap oh yes let's talk about that yeah so I'm I'm 36

31:07

years old um you know I've heard women on the show talking about dating older dating younger you know what do you guys

31:14

want uh personally for me I mean I'm open you know being being older it's

31:20

funny when I was younger actually like the girlfriends I had were usually older than I were but I think that yes okay I

31:27

think there's I agree with the age thing that it should be about the connection you definitely have a maturity to you

31:33

like I wouldn't say you're 36 like you just I don't know the way you carry yourself and there's this maturity to

31:39

you I appreciate that I mean I you know I don't want to be you know P myself on the shoulder but I I have heard that

31:45

before you should pat yourself on the shoulder you're amazing well they say um

31:50

what like six years difference right like uh that's the the women mature like

31:55

six years older yes yes yes in theory a guy should be dating someone six years you know they're Junior so they line up

32:02

yes yeah um I know for me I I've that hasn't been a thing you know I feel like

32:09

I've had more enjoyment dating older honestly let me ask you this and you don't have to answer this if this is too

32:15

personal but I think this is a concern for some men or what I've heard is that

32:21

I don't know if you want more children and would that would you if you do do you would you then keep the age in mind

32:26

in terms of fertility and what you've learned here okay so that's a great

32:31

question that's a great question you know do I want more children yes 100% open to it you know I grew up with a

32:38

sister so you know seeing the benefits of having a sibling you know yeah absolutely I would love for you know my

32:45

son to have have a sister uh that being said I'm not closed-minded that if you

32:51

know someone older and they're in a place where you know they can't or if they don't want to you know could be

32:57

someone younger where they don't want to um that wouldn't that wouldn't stop me you know cuz I do have my son and you

33:03

know AB absolutely love him if they have children of their own you know I've actually found it that like you know

33:09

okay if they if they do have children of their own there's there's a certain level of attraction to that because they they know motherhood yeah they get it

33:16

yeah they experience it they're in it every day um because I'm a father you know I'm in it you know like it's that

33:22

that routine you get in with them you deal with the temper tantrums and and noticed dating that there is you know

33:29

there is a difference there if I'm dating someone who is you know younger who doesn't have any you know children like yeah they they they could Envision

33:37

it but they don't know it till they're in it right so I mean I'm open I really

33:42

am but well for you and and maybe that was an unfair question because what's really clear is that you're looking for

33:48

connection and you're open to whatever that looks like and it's like the connection has to be right I ask that cuz you're man on this and we want male

33:55

perspective that you know some men men or I've heard some men you know don't want the 37 38y old they want the 32 30

34:03

or or or younger so it's it's good to hear other perspectives and then one of the things that that I also remember

34:10

hearing was just um when it comes to women who are successful or really

34:15

driven career-wise and how that can be a deter from for for men intimidation yeah

34:21

that kind of blew my mind actually I I was surprised to hear that yeah yeah cuz like I mean that's that's

34:27

Ian that's attractive like I think that's attractive you know someone who is you know if there's if there's

34:33

someone who could you know yeah be be the mother but then also want to have a successful career like have that ambition and desire and drive like

34:40

absolutely I think that's great I find that wild that it blew your mind because I think as women it feels so common for

34:48

women so that's that's interesting to hear it blew your mind and I love that it doesn't intimidate you because I

34:53

think yeah as women we want to we want to be with somebody that celebrates our successes and finds that attractive and

34:59

appealing yeah I mean I suppose that's that could be the difference between boys and men right like exactly well

35:05

that's I going to say like you're obviously like you have your own business you're successful you're very grounded in yourself and I think that

35:11

maybe that also allows you to not be intimidated yeah I like to think so yeah

35:17

I mean you know the when I was younger I didn't have the confidence that I have today right and it took a while for me

35:22

to grow into who I am and to to have that but I see the difference and and

35:27

how grounded I am um and that changes everything you know knowing what check

35:34

boxes I need in in a partner and knowing you know the value I bring to the table and knowing that hey find someone who

35:42

brings that same value well you're definitely an evolved Man true thank you thank you but also just

35:49

like you offer this like hopefulness like that there are men out there like you to women cuz there's a lot of

35:55

frustration with men and with dating so it's very helpful to hear from from a man and and we're very grateful to have

36:01

you in so many ways and reasons but to offer this perspective because we definitely want more men on here we want

36:07

everybody to have a voice and we want to have connection and understanding and and vulnerability so thank you for being

36:13

in the hot seat today I really appreciate and thank you so much for being behind the camera always always

36:19

I'm happy it's just you make this very easy I always get excited when we have the production days well again stuck

36:26

with us so many more to come many more to come yeah I mean I would love to offer um you know if there's anyone who

36:33

has questions oh that's amazing yeah like I'm an open book so tell people

36:38

where they can find you if they have yeah that's incredible because to have that support as someone that's been through it and knows you know what the

36:45

emotional you know journey of that that'd be incredible yeah social media Instagram uh you know my username is

36:52

Drew Sutton Dru uh so you know by all means if you if you have any questions you know reach

36:58

out oh he means that by the way everybody he will he will get on a call with you yeah yeah one of the goals that

37:05

I do have also is to eventually start a nonprofit um to help support those who

37:11

have questions yeah well we we'll support I support anything you you do so you you I appreciate that yeah thank you

37:18

so much for being here of course thanks for having me if you've enjoyed this episode of quiet clock and hearing Drew's story uh stay tuned for future

Guide to Egg Freezing and Support

37:25

episodes and thank you for listening if you like the episodes that you're hearing and you want to hear more please subscribe to our Channel and stay tuned

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for more incredible stories and tools when I froze my eggs at 37 I felt alone

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so if you again if you're thinking about this decision sign up through our website quith clock.com

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