The Pursuit of Pleasure

0:00Hey, welcome to SINCE3000 where we are here to0:03access our past, present and future selves. And in this0:06episode, I want to get real personal. So I'm going to talk0:09about this process I've gone through of decoupling from my0:13marriage, a previous relationship, and then my0:16business, another previous relationship. And what that0:19process looked like of me to start accessing this portal to0:23the present.0:29I'm so excited to bring you today's episode. But before we0:33do, I need to make sure you've heard about member up. So0:36community driven products are the future. But Facebook groups0:40are a thing of the past. And after 10 plus years in the0:43online education space, I've taken all my learnings and I've0:47built this incredible platform member up. It's a customizable,0:51easy to use all in one platform where you can build a premium0:55course community or membership site without the tech headache,0:58gone are the days of having to duct tape together, your1:02content, your community, your payments, all on different1:05platforms, I want you to do me a favor, do yourself a favor and1:09head over right now to memberup.com/Danielle. And you1:12can get started for free today. I promise you, I can't wait for1:16you to see this platform. It's beautiful. Okay, the design is1:20amazing your community is going to feel at home here and you are1:24going to take pride in your online business, it is the place1:28to start head over to memberup.com/Danielle. Now let's1:31get into the episode. I think I found myself at a point where I1:35was running. Well, I was just coming out of a seven year1:38relationship. And I had spent that time defining myself in1:42reference to this other person, which is common, right you you1:46are coupled up. And so my identity was in relation to this1:49person. And once that relationship ended, I found1:52myself asking, I think the all important question of who are1:56you? And I think my whole year was spent answering that2:00question. And all the things I pursued were in pursuit of that2:03question. And I found myself in this period, when I think about2:07my life, I think about it in like three phases. The first was2:11discovering who I was, and I feel like that was like, you2:15know, childhood, teens. And I was trying different things.2:18Luckily, I had parents who expose me to a bunch of2:21different things. And I got to try piano I got to try tennis, I2:25got to try achievement, what does success look like for me?2:29What did these friendships look like for me, and so that was a2:33season of discovering who I am. That's when I said I want to be2:36an obstetrician when I grew up, and I tried all these different2:40things. And so that was my period of discovering who I was.2:44And then I reached a point where it was time to create who I was.2:48So the second phase was creating who I am. And that was you know,2:52the the time of creating course from scratch, creating my first2:56kind of big business, this empire that I was building that2:59started to define what I wanted to create and introduce into3:03this world. It was an extension of what was deep inside of me3:07this fascination with how can we translate our passion, our3:11experiences, our expertise, who we are into what we do for a3:14living? And how can we, you know, translate that to other3:18people who can benefit from it reach and teach people all over.3:22So that next phase was creating who I was. And then I would say3:26in this most recent phase, after decoupling myself from this3:29person, this relationship, I found myself decoupling from my3:33business. And it was in that moment that I realized, oh, wow,3:37like now's the time to remember who I am. I think life is that3:41journey of first discovering who we are, then creating who we3:44are, and then remembering who we are. And that goes back to3:48connecting with our past, our parents, our ancestors, all the3:52lessons we inherited in our DNA, because DNA is your divine North3:56awareness. It's that awareness of what's in your blood, what's4:00running through your veins, who you came from, what they taught4:03you. And then it is using that remembrance as a celebration of4:07who I am, as opposed to guilt and shame around who I am. So I4:11think I spent a year of answering this question, you4:14know, who am I and remembering who I was, and a way to remember4:18who I am is entering what I called a pleasure pursuit. So it4:22was the pursuit of pleasure. And there was a lot of new things I4:26had to learn. Uh, one of the things I had to learn was this4:29connection with my body. So I think in like, you know, Western4:33civilization, we're definitely taught to uphold the mind as the4:37all powerful organ, the thing that is going to direct and4:41explain and figure out everything which served me well,4:44right. I mean, it got me to where I was. And I think with4:48that was a disconnection with body with gut with what is this4:51feel like and being able to put it vocabulary around it, oh,4:55what is this behavior that I am continuing because of how I4:59feel. And so in that pursuit of pleasure, it was a reconnection5:03to my body to my feelings, you know what feels good, before I5:06would power through things, I would, you know, get into the5:10grind, whatever I deemed as success and the pinnacle and5:13achievement at that point I would go for and I would go5:17hard, and I would find myself, you know, depressed. And for me,5:21depression looks like avoidance. I'm an Aquarius. So you know,5:25there's always like, two sides of the coin, right. And I would5:28say one side of being an Aquarius is the I Exist on5:32another planet, I live in the future, we are visionaries,5:35we're able to, you know, see, think and create this new5:39reality. With that on the other side of the coin can come5:42avoidance with the present avoidance with what we're facing5:46right now. So I found myself in a lot of avoidance, I would say,5:50when I was depressed, that's what depression looked like for5:53me. And it meant kind of checking out. And so in this5:57time of being in the pursuit of my pleasure, I found myself6:00checking in checking in with how I felt my body. And I remember,6:04I had a business mentor, we were preparing to work together. They6:08sent me a questionnaire. And it was all these business6:12questions, you know, how much did your business make last6:15year? How much do you want to make? What does your team6:18consist of? And the question that stood out, and it was a6:22mind boggling I was like, why is this question in here? But the6:26question was, what do you define as pleasure? And are you able to6:30receive pleasure? And it was interesting, because when I read6:34that question, I immediately associated pleasure with like,6:37sexual feeling. And I was like, I mean, I don't know like, I'm6:41like a five on a one to 10. Like, I don't like what are you6:45asking? And it wasn't until probably a year or two later,6:48when I was in this questioning this inquiry of who am I? What6:52does pleasure mean to me? What does it look like for me to feel6:56good? In what I'm doing and who am I being where I really was7:00able to finally connect with pleasure that is not sexual.7:03It's just or it can be all you know, they have you come all7:07over. But it's a lot of other things. It's just feeling good.7:11Feeling good in your being feeling good. In the moment. I7:14found myself in practice of just asking myself moment to moment.7:18What would feel good right now? Hey, this is Danielle Leslie,7:22and I have a question for you. If you are a creative7:25entrepreneur, and your business is unique, why are you working7:29with a generic accountant? One of the best decisions I made was7:33who I would partner with on my taxes and my accounting. So if7:37you're creative entrepreneur, you are growing your business,7:40you're scaling your business, I want to introduce you to revel.7:44Revel is a firm that can help you whether you're looking to7:48prepare your taxes, or you're looking for that year round7:51support. They will tell you what's happening in your7:55business and why so if you're tired of being ignored, talked7:58down to or feeling like you are chasing around your accountant8:02and meeting to drive the relationship yourself. It's time8:06for change, head over to revel cpa.com Our EVL cpa.com Head on8:09over fill out their interest form and make sure you look into8:13working with them. Again, that is revel cpa.com r e ve l8:17cpa.com. We all deserve the right firm to partner with. It's8:20been proven that procrastination can be one of our biggest8:24enemies to success. Now contrary to belief, procrastination is8:28not based on a lack of time management or organizational8:31skills. Procrastination is directly linked to to our8:34emotions. Now, the reason I know this is because of Patty8:38Johnston. Patty Johnson is incredible. She's a course from8:42scratch member. But even more importantly, she's built8:45multiple multimillion dollar businesses once she learned how8:49to overcome procrastination. So she's created a program where8:52she shares her system on how to overcome procrastination. And8:56it's based on emotional intelligence, neuroscience and8:59accountability. She's going to show you step by step how to9:03overcome negative feelings. So you can start taking action and9:07start seeing a difference from day one. So text this number9:11right now to schedule an appointment with Patty and her9:14team to see if this is right for you, and what steps for you to9:18take to overcome your procrastination 813-789-1097 And9:21again, the number to text right now is 813-789-1097. Let's all9:25overcome procrastination together.9:27Now let's get back to the episode. So one of the things I9:31found was, you know, my, my sessions by myself because this9:34is my first time in my entire life, right? And I'm in my mid9:3830s First time ever living by myself, right? I always had a9:42roommate, or you know, move back in with mom when I was broke,9:45lived with my partner and then husband at the time, right? I9:50was always living with someone so it was my first time in my9:53whole entire life living by myself. And before I had this9:56amazing partner who was able to create great vibe It's for us10:00the music and the, you know, the lighting and everything, you10:04know, helping me modulate my mood and all of that. And I was10:07by myself. And I was like, Well, what does that look like for me.10:10And so that's when I, you know, picked up different practices.10:13And one of my like, pleasure pursuit practices was an10:16evening, right here in my living room on my couch. And I would10:20put on my Galaxy light, and be amongst the stars. And it was10:24also a reminder that that was just a reflection of what's10:27inside of me, because we all have the Galaxy inside of us.10:30And then I would fire up my hookah, let me just show you10:33what that looks like real quick.10:41Like that. And I would put on my music, my playlist, and I would10:45pull up my notebook, and I would doodle and I would just create10:49and just let whatever was flowing flow through me. And for10:52me, that encapsulated a pursuit of pleasure. And what I was able10:57to do in that practice is carry it into the other parts of my11:01life. So that meant our friends, you know, putting together a11:05birthday trip. And this year when I was asking myself, who am11:10I? What brings me pleasure, it was me saying yes, so it was11:13definitely my year of Yes. I always prided myself on being11:17able to say no, I was like, I'm so good at saying no, and I11:20would feel so good in that. And I'd be like, I say no, so good.11:24That nobody even comes around me. Like my friends are like,11:26Oh, I know you're busy. But and you know, my team is like, Oh, I11:29know you have a lot going on but and my family my own mom, oh, I11:33know you're busy Danny but, and I realized with my nose, I11:37created this moat around me. And it isolated me. And it it fed11:42into my belief that oh my god, I'm so lonely. I'm by myself, I11:45have no friends. And so this year of yes was me opening up to11:49invite others into my space, invite others to help me co11:53create this pleasure pursuit. So when my friends said, Hey, let's11:57do a birthday celebration. We started this tradition of going12:02on these like group birthday trips. So one of my other12:05practices in the pursuit of pleasure was celebration. And it12:09could look like an everyday celebration like my hookah12:11sessions, or it could look like my birthday celebration. So that12:14year for my birthday, when it was inspired by my really good12:18friend, Sean, and we were on the rooftop in New York, freezing12:22our asses off we were in our coats, and it was during COVID.12:26And so we had to be outside in this like, they have the igloo12:30type of things. And but we didn't get the igloo because we12:33didn't make a reservation. So we were out in the cold freezing12:35our asses off. There wasn't even a heat lamp. And he was wearing12:38a trench coat I talked most about him was I was like, what12:40you don't wear in a trench coat, you know better. So he was12:42freezing. I was okay. I was in like a bubble jacket. And we're12:46having drinks. And he says, You know, I would love to find12:50another location where we can be warm. And we could have one more12:53glass of champagne. And I said, all right, but let's go do that.12:57We left the rooftop. We walked downstairs and there is a row of13:01limos, a row of limos. And a gentleman approaches us and13:05said, Would you like to go for a ride in my limo and I have a13:08bottle of champagne for you and it's warm and toasty inside? And13:12we're like, Yo,13:16we were like, yes, like you're over? Yes. So we hopped in that13:20limo, we pop the champagne. We did it. Cheers. And we said this13:25is the year where we're making everything happen. And that limo13:29ride was the inspiration for how I celebrated my birthday that13:32year. And for my birthday, I invited my closest friends. It13:35was about 10 of us. And we called up Tony. And we're like13:39come through for my birthday. And I award this like outfit. I13:42basically look like I was about to do a concert. I was like JLo13:45Beyonce, and it was like a little Bejeweled breast13:48situation over here with the underboob showing. And like a13:51black dress and then these like Bejeweled boots. And you know, I13:55walked down and we all got in the limo and we rode it around,13:58and we drink champagne. And we talked about our dreams. And we14:01reminisced and shared what we loved about each other. And then14:04afterwards, we came back here, and we had a tell the truth14:08session. So I fired up my tell the truth sign, we sat in a14:11circle, and I said, share something, some truth that's14:16been living with you that you may not have shared with anyone,14:19maybe not even with yourself, now's your time, now's your14:22space to share that. And we all shared it. And that was a moment14:26where I saw what it looks like to turn your friends into14:29family. And what I learned is that it's another pursuit of14:32pleasure for me when I can sit in a room and be intimate with14:37individuals. Before that my definition of intimacy was so14:41narrow minded. It was coupled with sexual feelings. I thought14:46intimacy had to be sexual. And I realized and I think my friend14:49Tara for this, she said, You know, I think about intimacy on14:52a spectrum, and you have sexual intimacy and then you have14:55platonic intimacy. And you can have this with your friends and14:58to me intimacy means is real time honesty and transparency15:02like this, it ain't nothing big another smaller. It's like real15:04time, honesty and transparency. It's just purity. And in that15:09moment during the tell the truth session, I experienced intimacy15:12with my closest friends and they became family in that moment.15:16And since then we do these group are day trips. So there's a15:20couple of us who are Aquarians. So we'll do like a February15:23birthday celebration. So this past year, we went to Wahaca,15:26Mexico, so shout out to Cheyenne, she's my Aquarian15:29sister, and whoever's birthday it is chooses where they want to15:32go. So she wanted to do a haka. And, you know, experience like15:36the vibe and show us and share up and share with us that15:39experience of being on the beach and being tranquil. And then we15:43went to like a semi nude beach. Well, it was like a semi nude15:46and nude beach. And so we're like, out in the waves topless.15:50And just like, Yeah, girl, so tell me about last year really?15:52Okay, dope, the waters hitting us away. It's a hit. We're like,15:55Yeah, really cool. It was vibe. And then after that, we go back15:59to the house, we have this amazing experience, where my16:03friend Sean created this dope experience. And essentially, it16:07was The Five Love Languages, if you were to turn that into a16:11physical experience. So each of the rooms in the house are16:16transformed into a different love language. So prior to this,16:20my friend Tara created these archetypes in our friend group.16:23And so she's like, I think what we share in common is a fashion16:27fascination with identity. So she was thinking deeply about16:30identity and archetypes, and she gave each of us a different16:32identity. And so one of our friends is the Oracle shadow,16:36it's a Taria. And so when target sees you, she sees you and she16:39sees all of you. And when you give her the invitation and say,16:42can you tell me what you see, she will tell you what she sees.16:46So she is the Oracle in the group. And so her room was the16:49words of affirmation room. So during the party, and it's like,16:53you know, dim the lights were all like in our Disco outfits,16:56because that was the theme we had just wrapped an amazing16:59dinner. And you can choose what room you want to start with. And17:02I started with the words of affirmation room. That's one of17:04my top love languages. And I go in because I really pride myself17:08on seeing myself and hopefully being able to see others. So I17:11go into this room, it's you know, dim, there's a table and17:15there's two chairs, and she's sitting on one side of the17:17table, she invites you to take a seat and I sit across from her.17:21And she says, Do you want me to tell you what I see? Or do you17:25have a question for me? And I'm like, tell me what you see. And17:29she proceeds to tell me what she sees. And she tells me who she17:34sees in me. And this is right on time in my discovery of who am17:38I? Like who am I like who tell me who you see, because this is17:43gonna help round out and expand who I see myself as. And so she17:48proceeds to tell me, that's the words of affirmation room with17:51the Oracle Taria. And then I transition into the quality time17:55room. So quality time is my number one love language. And so17:59I go into that room that's Tara's room. And tears are18:01koala. She's also the authenticator. She begging you18:05to really tell her real and she could tell when you when you18:07tell him the real, and she has a tech background. So I was like18:10the authenticator like the Google Authenticator app, it18:12tells you if you're able to actually log in like if your18:15password is actually correct. So are you actually telling the app18:20the truth? Are you giving it the right code to access all the18:23knowledge? So she's the authenticator and she's able to18:27tell Are you really giving me the acts? Are you really giving18:30me the right code? The right words to truly access all the18:33knowledge? Are you bullshitting me? So she's the authenticator18:36in the group. So we go into the quality time room, and she's18:38there, she's under the blanket, and she's got candles, and she18:42welcomes me into this space. And she's got conversation starter18:45cards, which are my my love light. My unofficial love18:48language is conversation starter cards. And so she picks a card18:51and asks a question, and you answer the question. And then18:55she asks follow up questions, because she's the authenticator18:58to get to the truth to the real truth. And so that's the quality19:01time room. And then the next room is the physical touch room.19:04And that's my third biggest love language. And Shawn is in that19:08room. And so you're able to go in, and you lay down, and he19:13asks you, what version of you do you want to visit in the session19:17today to have a conversation with whether you want to just19:20reconnect with a version of you, you want to heal something with19:24a version of you, or you want to keep key with the version of19:26you. And so you tell him I want to go back to sixth grade Danny,19:31and I want to have a conversation with her and tell19:33her girl, you don't have to carry the weight of the world on19:37your shoulders. You good like, trust me, like you good. So as19:42you're talking to your sixth grade, Danny, your sixth grade19:45self or your four year old self, you're healing, you're having a19:48conversation. He's just putting pressure on different parts of19:51your body. And he's just reassuring you with that touch.19:55And then we go out into the backyard in the backyard is19:58where you have the access service. Station. And that's20:01where you can have a nice cocktail made. And it's whatever20:04cocktail you desire, and you let him know, this is what I'm20:07feeling right now. And he can Cox a cocktail for you. And20:10that's the access service table. And then there's gifts table.20:13And that's where we have some psychedelics. So we have some20:15gifts, whatever gift you wanted, and you pick that gift. And so20:19that rounded out our you know, love language celebration that20:23Shawn created. And he brought in Taria, and Tara to help him20:28deliver this amazing experience for us on our birthday. And this20:31was our well Hakan February, Aquarian birthday celebration.20:36So that's just one of many of our amazing birthday20:39celebrations. One of many examples have been in the20:42pleasure pursuit, how I have turned friends into family. And20:47I've really been able to access what I call the portal to the20:50present. Because I always prided myself on living in the future,20:55right? I'm like, oh, yeah, I know what's coming. I'm a20:57visionary, I can see it, I'm living there. And what I missed21:01was what's here. And it's the portal to the present.21:06Like right now is actually the eternal, like, it's infinite,21:10the present is infinite if we allow it to be. And my year of21:14answering that question, my year of pursuing my pleasure, turned21:18into a celebration of myself, of all of myself, the ups and the21:22downs and the this, and then in between a celebration of those21:26around me, getting a deeper knowing of myself and getting to21:30remembering who I am. And in that remembering, celebrating21:34every part of me appreciating every part of me paying homage21:38to those who came before me, and knowing that they are fueling21:42and propelling my calling and where I'm going, and it was that21:46year that has helped me arise, larger, more expanded, not just21:50able to live in the future and access the future, but to also21:54access this presents this portal to the present to access the21:58people around me and go deeper than I ever had before. So what22:02I hope for you is that you're able to have that same inquiry.22:06If you find yourself being disconnected to body to feeling22:09to spirit, it may be that it's your season to also remember, if22:14you feel like you've been in a mode of discovery, discovery,22:17create, create, grind, grind, when you haven't felt that22:21connection, that flow that ease. Maybe it's your season for22:25remembering who you are. Maybe it's your season for asking the22:29question, Who am I? It's really my dream and my mission, I22:33think, you know, when I cross fingers, pray to God universe,22:37that I have my own kids, one day very soon, that I'm able to22:41teach them the power of answering that question, but not22:44answering but being in the inquiry of creating different22:48responses to that question, because we truly, you know,22:51remember who we are from moment to moment and can express who22:55you are from moment to moment. And that can look completely22:59different from five minutes ago to now and I would love to gift23:03future generations, my kids, anyone I touch through my23:07programs, my courses, my coaching my friendships,23:10romantic relationships, anything, I hope that we can all23:14be in that inquiry of, you know, who am I? And what does my23:18pursuit of pleasure look like? Listen, sometimes life be life23:21in and we do not know what's coming down that road next.23:25Well, that's what happened to me in 2016, when I was unexpectedly23:29laid off from my job. And I was six figures in student loan23:33debt, I had no savings, and I didn't know what was going to23:37happen next. Now, luckily, I had this little voice inside of me23:41at that time, that I couldn't ignore, and it was telling me to23:45take the leap. It was saying, use this as your opportunity to23:49build your business. Use this as your opportunity to create your23:53dream life. And so I believe that life happens for us, not to23:57us, and that nudge in my spirit, I should listen to it. Luckily,24:01I did. Fast forward to today, I have a business that's made over24:06$20 million. And I've helped over 10,000 people create their24:09online businesses and their dream lives. So do you want to24:13learn how to turn your story into an online product and24:17launch in 30 days, head on over to24:19coursefromscratch.com/since3000. I want you to join us on this24:23journey so you can listen to that little voice inside of you24:27too. So go now Do yourself a favor coursefromscratch.com/since3000.EnglishAllFrom Danielle LeslieConversationRelatedListenableLiveRecently uploadedWatched