Are you feeling a little overwhelmed with the pressures of dating, motherhood, and career? Well, I have just the episode for you! In this week’s episode of “Quiet the Clock,” I sit down with a woman in her 30s who is considering egg freezing and navigating the uncertainty of dating and motherhood as a single woman.
Throughout the episode, we discuss the overwhelming nature of the decision-making process, including the financial and insurance aspects. We also touch on the increasing prevalence of egg freezing and the importance of having open conversations about it.
But it’s not just about egg freezing. We also dive into the pressure women feel to freeze their eggs once they turn 30 and the struggle to balance that conversation with accepting a non-traditional path in life. We even discuss the impact of being in a relationship on the decision to freeze eggs or embryos.
One of the most inspiring parts of the episode is when Jen shares her experience of buying a house alone in Pennsylvania, despite being a city person who had only ever lived in apartments. She faced imposter syndrome and struggled with the competitive housing market, but ultimately felt empowered by the experience.
And let’s not forget about the importance of mental health breaks and self-care. Jen shares her experience of taking two hiatuses from work, one for a sabbatical and one for a mental health break, and the guilt she initially felt about taking time off. We discuss the importance of not feeling guilty for taking care of oneself and the positive impact it can have on our personal and professional lives.
Overall, this episode provides insight into the challenges and opportunities faced by single women considering egg freezing and navigating their personal and professional lives. So, my friend, if you’re feeling a little lost or overwhelmed, give this episode a listen. You won’t regret it!
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Jen Mctigue, Vice President, Digital Strategy at M Boot Passport Mentality.
Quotes:
- “this is so brave and this is so courageous and these are all the words we use in our sessions and i value you so much”
- “I think that having done things like that you know now having traveled alone i’ve traveled i went to thailand by myself for two weeks too which my mom did have a panic attack but and buying a car and buying a house and doing all these things you know now i’m like why can’t i freeze my eggs by myself? like why should i have to wait for someone else to come along and be like should we do this? or waiting? that’s such a good word that just like caught my ear because we’ve talked a lot about that too and i talk a lot about that with with other clients and with friends like moving out of this space of waiting to to living right? mm-hmm <affirmative> i think that we sometimes we wait to find the partner we wait to be pregnant or whatever we’re waiting for we’re waiting for somebody else to do those things.”
- “I don’t know that I ever thought marriage kids picket fence like all this stuff cuz that’s not what I grew up with…so when I say that I’m more comfortable off-roading I don’t even really remember what that original path in my mind looked like.”
- “I always envisioned myself having a family, so it’s kind of a weird position to be now and like question okay like do I like is this all worth it? could I do it a different way? and I don’t know like emotionally it is like pretty taxing and then I think for those reasons I sort of slowed down the process like before I was like soak un ho and now that I have so many questions I’m like I’m gonna take a step back and like take a lay of the land a little bit.”
- “I just wanna make sure I’m like I don’t wake up 20 30 years from now and regret how I’ve used my time.”
Key Points:
- Information Gathering Stage [00:05:23] Jen discusses her decision-making process around egg freezing, including the benefits offered by her company and the overwhelming amount of information she has to navigate.
- Time and Fear of Wasting It [00:03:11] Jen talks about her fear of wasting time and the pressure to use every minute of every day the “right” way, especially in the post-COVID environment.
- Introduction to the Podcast [00:00:41] The host introduces the “Quiet the Clock” podcast and the Jen, a single woman in her 30s who is considering egg freezing and navigating the uncertainty of dating and motherhood.
- Relationship status and egg freezing [00:08:09] Jen discusses how being in a relationship would change the conversation around egg freezing and the emotional pressure of freezing embryos.
- Choosing between eggs and embryos [00:08:50] The host shares her personal experience of choosing to freeze eggs instead of embryos and the emotional impact it had on her relationship.
- The emotional considerations of egg freezing [00:09:32] Jen and host discuss the emotional toll of egg freezing, including uncertainty about the future and questioning whether it’s worth it.
- Striking the balance on egg freezing conversation [00:15:14] Jen and the host discuss the pressure women face to freeze their eggs and the uncertainty around the right time to do it.
- Off-roading and carving your own path [00:16:32] Jen talks about her comfort with veering off the traditional path of marriage and kids and how she thrives in spontaneity.
- Taking sabbaticals and mental health leaves [00:18:01] Jen shares her experiences taking two hiatuses from work, a sabbatical and a mental health leave, and the guilt and resistance she faced before taking them. The host emphasizes the importance of normalizing mental health breaks.
- Mental Health Conversations in Latin Communities [00:22:40] Jen talks about how mental health conversations are not common in Latin communities and how her mother reacted to her decision to freeze her eggs.
- The Pressure of Time in Dating [00:24:08] Jen discusses the pressure of time in dating and how freezing her eggs could relieve some of that pressure.
- Accomplishments During the Pandemic [00:28:25] Beth and Jen discuss Jen’s major accomplishments during the pandemic, including buying a house and a car, and how she sometimes overlooked them because she was doing them alone.
- Living Alone and Accomplishments [00:29:46] Jen talks about her experience of buying a house alone and how it changed her perception of things. She also shares her accomplishments of traveling and buying a car.
- Moving Out of Waiting and Into Doing [00:32:24] Jen and the host discuss the importance of living in action and not waiting for someone else to do things. They talk about motivation and momentum and how to move out of the space of waiting.
- Passport Mentality [00:35:47] Jen shares her passion project called “Passport Mentality” where she talks about how to bring the vacation version of yourself back home and live that day to day. She has been writing articles on Medium.com about it.
- Embodiment mindset [00:36:40] Jen and the host discuss how to embody a mindset of relaxation and permission to choose how to spend time, without pressure or expectation.
- Benefits of the podcast [00:37:19] Jen expresses her gratitude for being part of the podcast and highlights the importance of having a non-medical, relatable resource for people considering egg freezing.
- Gratitude and appreciation [00:37:19] The host expresses her appreciation for Jen’s bravery and courage in sharing her story and being part of the podcast, and values the work they have done together.
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