How Egg Freezing Gave Me More Time to Follow My Dream Career

was more of the okay well yeah she's right I have this option now I should probably think about it some more before

0:05

I leave and the fact that I didn't really know what my life was going to be after I quit it's the unknown jumping

0:12

into entrepreneurship um I was single the time uh didn't really know where my life

0:19

was going to go in terms of I was going to quit my job start a new career start a business

0:28

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QTC P o10 to get 10% off your first purchase well Diana welcome I'm so glad

Meet Diana

1:19

you're here we connected forever ago and we we connected on pod match which like

1:25

I think you rarely go on there I rarely go on there but I saw your story and I was like I need to have her on this

1:30

podcast and I was so grateful because again I'm not on there much and right so that we so it's like meant to be that we

1:36

connected but we talked we don't even remember how long ago we talked like months ago it feels like decades ago now

1:42

like we're going to get to La we didn't even have the date plan yet I was like we're going to come to La we're going to do this in person so we're here we made

1:48

it we're here um time flies time so fast I can't believe we're almost we are in

1:54

February it's February February 1st oh my God it is February 1 yeah um and so yeah I want to talk about a lot today

2:01

your journey you know a lot of the things we talk about on here is egg freezing but it's also about just

2:06

everybody's unique individual Journey about finding your own path getting

2:11

aligned with really what you want and I know that's your journey so yes it's a lot of your journey so yeah let's start

2:18

there with just your journey in life well um I'm an open book I'm very

2:23

transparent so ask me any questions and then I'm I'm here to share right I so

2:28

for me just I don't know how far back we want to go but this whole egg freezing Journey for myself um started at

2:36

Thanksgiving dinner I know oh my God yes tell the story because you told me when we we previously spoke and I was like

2:42

this is so funny and great oh and it's like a scene out of a movie you know because I'm the I'm the oldest of three

2:48

girls and so my two younger sisters are both married with kids I'm married no

2:54

kid at that time I was single um and they're married with kids so the how old

2:59

were at this time I was oh my gosh let me think about 34 okay I was 34 when I

3:06

met Rob yep so that was actually the around the same time I met my husband now I know and that's another fun story

3:12

that we're going to get to we're going to get to that story cuz that's a good one too we have very similar story CU I saw you know on your Instagram you know

3:18

like pictures you're 40 pregnant and we're in that discussion too right now

3:24

but it's just we'll get there um but Thanksgiving so my my sister's a doctor

3:29

and of course we're all eating you know Thanksgiving dinner and then she goes at the time I was working at

3:36

Microsoft and she's like you know you should really Fe freeze your eggs before

3:41

you leave and you're like yeah I'm like we're having this conversation now in front of my parents everybody

3:48

else it's everybody's business it's out in the open it's out in the open um because at the time I was working at

3:54

Microsoft and they just started rolling out with these benefits um and it's

3:59

brand new and then of course after that all the tech firms followed suit which is amazing because it's freaking

4:05

expensive it's expensive and now it's it's becoming a norm which is a good thing um that more and more of my

4:11

friends in my network are coming to me asking questions about freezing oh that's amazing um because it's now a

4:17

very like an option that you can you can have um as a choice so at the time I was

4:25

about to quit um because I was going to go part of the let me just ask you this

4:31

first like prior to this moment at Thanksgiving dinner your sister just puts it out there had you thought about

4:37

egg freezing had you no you hadn't so this was the first moment this was the first moment cuz I was just like you

4:43

know 34 I'm not really thinking I'm more career focused in terms of there was a

4:50

lot of transitions already going out of my life that I've already made the decision to leave and quit my full-time

4:56

job this 15 plus year career and to go into fashion and open up my own

5:02

business it's like okay that's huge in itself and so thinking about kids I'm like oh okay um until she brought it up

5:10

and that's when she made me think about it because it's benefits that are being

5:16

offered to you and normally it's just really expensive if it's not covered as you know and so I thought about it more

5:22

and more and it was funny because during that time I very I was very transparent with my team at Microsoft everybody knew

5:30

what I was doing and what my long-term goals are so they knew that you were thinking of leaving and okay yeah and I

5:35

was very transparent of giving my manager a Runway of like okay two months

5:41

or three months or whatever I'm planning to quit so let's start transition planning now and so very transparent and

5:49

and very blessed to have like a team and a yeah I think there's a lot of work environments where there can't be the

5:54

conversation or or I've had clients that just have to hide that they're interviewing and it's a scramble to like

5:59

like you can't go well this is pre-co go go in with the suit but cuz that's not normal so you're finding like a Starbucks bathroom to put the suit on

6:06

and go to the job interview so that's amazing that you had that space to be transparent and very very blessed with

6:13

that and I think it's because it's Finance the fashion there's no competitor in that you know it's like

6:19

not they're not like butt hurt or it's not like personal like you're going somewhere better exactly like oh Fashion

6:25

okay um so yeah they were very supportive uh and that time after that

6:31

conversation I thought about it some more and I actually went to my boss at the time um and told them I'm going to

6:39

extend my stay because I'm going to freeze my eggs so transparent there too I love that so

6:45

he looked at me he's like what is he going to say he was like uh okay yeah do

6:50

do whatever you need to so when the seed finally gets planted

6:55

like what sort of thoughts or because you hadn't thought about it previously and tell me if I'm wrong maybe there

7:01

weren't the narratives cuz I know narratives that came up for me or other wom is like I'm running out of time I'm behind or it's comparative to like you

7:08

had two sisters that were married like did any of that come up before or did or

7:13

more after at all or ever no no not none of that before okay um afterwards it was

7:19

more of the okay well yeah she's right I have this option now I should probably think about it some more before I leave

7:25

and the fact that I didn't really know what my life was going to be after after I quit it's the unknown jumping into

7:33

entrepreneurship um I was single at the time uh didn't really know where my life

7:38

was going to go in terms of I was going to quit my job start a new career start a business move to LA all of this oh my

7:46

God you know and so I'm like well maybe she's right I should probably just freeze my eggs and who knows where this

7:52

is going to go or who when I'm going to meet my future husband which yeah

8:01

did you know did you know anything about egg freezing did you know anyone that had done it nope at that time of zero

8:08

yeah nobody that I knew in my circle and my network at that time um talked about

8:14

egg freezing or any of it to the point where so this was in Seattle and so of

8:20

course that triggered me to of course go research some more what's the best um

8:25

reproductive place or place to do this and uh I don't know now but at the time

8:31

it was SRM Seattle Reproductive Medicine the largest group in Seattle doing this

SRM Seattle Reproductive Medicine

8:37

and so I went to them um did kind of like ask them questions and that that consultation with yes what was that like

8:44

for you cuz mine was not great oh really well I was 37 so similar to you so 3742

8:52

math is not my so 5 years ago like math um I didn't know I knew one other person

8:58

I didn't know anything about it and then for and now so many different conversations are happening there's so

9:03

many more resources there's so much different knowledge and narratives but for for when I was doing it it was like

9:08

37's the cliff and you're done and like it's all over and so I remember leaving there just like one you're overwhelmed

9:15

to be there period and all this new information you're learning is overwhelming and then when you look at a

9:20

chart that's like this is this drastic decline I left there like just yep yeah

9:26

hysterical yeah for me um it was overwhelming as well of like okay this

9:32

is the statistics and this is what you need to do and like the amount of eggs that you know you're like okay

9:39

information overload yeah um but and this is preco obviously and so they were more

9:48

um they they were more available resources were available to handhold you through the process the nurse that I had

9:55

through this whole process was great here's the calendar this is what to these are how many times you need to

10:01

come in and do your blood test and ultrasound and I'm like oh my God that's a lot yeah right and then you're trying

10:06

to live life at the same time EXA juggle all of that I remember to like trying to rearrange clients and then some in the

10:12

beginning you don't know what days you're going what days the retrieval is or all these things so you're sort of just like in limbo kind of in limbo

10:18

trying to yes yes and then do all the life things at the same time yeah um and

10:23

so I I was like okay well um might as well just I mean just do it you know um

10:30

and I went through the process and it was pretty having like I said the right

10:35

people on your team like the doctor and making sure that you're just know what

10:40

to expect the entire time was very helpful um I did do a video for them

10:46

because at this time at that time it was still kind of new and so they're trying

10:52

to do things like this to put it out there for educate people education on

10:58

what it is and so I think if you go on to the SRM website I'm on there

11:03

somewhere talk oh my God I have to go I didn't see it I have to go on there I'm G to go on there after this cuz I did an

11:08

interview they're like he tell us about your process and what to expect and you know and I I even gave feedback to my

11:14

own doctor afterwards where I'm like you need to tell your your clients patients

11:20

this that for me after the procedure they tell you to take the day off of course but then I went back to work

11:28

straight away the next day which I thought was a very bad idea afterwards um because I don't know about

11:36

you but my after during was great for me I was on this hormonal high but then

11:42

afterwards it felt like that huge dip in hormones where you're not giving yourself hormone shots every day anymore

11:49

I know the things your body goes through is crazy the guest we just had them before had the same experience like great through it like feeling good she's

11:56

like I was going on dates and then two weeks after was like this you know harder for her mine was right

12:01

immediately like the next two three days afterwards it was just huge dip and

12:08

again I'm a very transparent person so my team knew that you I was going through this and they were I had my PM

12:15

would run across like past my office door because she's like I don't want to deal with her right now her

12:24

horing they're like next time can you stay home you're like yeah yeah so that

12:29

was your feedback to the doctor just yeah take it easy for the next few days if you want to go back to I don't know

12:35

why but want to go back to work work remotely or just take it easy and not just book a bunch of meetings or

12:43

schedule a bunch of things right afterwards because you do need those two to three days afterwards just to kind of

12:48

level yourself out afterwards sotally yeah I had a girlfriend so the one friend that I knew that had done it I'd asked her that what to expect after and

12:56

she's like oh I was fine I went shopping with my mom and so I just had expected based on the one experience that I knew

13:02

about to have that energy and I remember after my retrieval I was like out for the count I was like I have I'm just

13:07

going to lay on this couch and do nothing what did you feel like so what I

13:13

guess what did you feel like emotionally during and after like you hadn't really

Emotional Experience

13:18

thought about it now you're in it now you're doing it now your your timeline has shifted a little bit to leave the job to do this

13:24

like were you feeling empowered were you feeling

13:30

I don't know what were you feeling um actually now that I'm thinking about it your your question is making me reflect

13:35

on it um during during the process it was like I said this high off of

13:42

hormones and my friends would I have I would do get together at my at my place

13:47

with girlfriends and like a potluck and stuff like that they would just tease me they like you're glowing you're glowing

13:54

like okay but it felt great um and I didn't think anything besides the fact of in my

14:01

head like just checking the box like okay I just need to get this done initially the first time that you give

14:08

yourself the shot because essentially you have to become your own nurse you know mixing the things together the

14:13

needles all of that you a needle are you okay with needles un fortunately I'm okay with

14:19

needles and so but I was just very nervous in the beginning of with my first want to get it right it's like oh

14:25

my God no bubbles no this you like that needle you're like okay did I do this right and I would rewatch the video over

14:31

and over and over again and it took me all like 30 minutes for my first two or three and by the end you're like Yeah by

14:38

the end I'm like drinking a shot of espresso you know putting my makeup on like oh got to do my shot and then done

14:44

yeah um but that was my experience and so uh and and leading up to it they did

14:51

you know they warn you that it's going to be kind of painful but don't worry out don't do anything strenuous towards

14:57

the end um and that was very true you're like okay not wearing jeans

15:03

not wear anything tight exactly and so that whole process I had a great great I

15:10

did two rounds so did two two rounds they gave me the option like well at

15:15

your age 34 you know you we got seven so you might want to do two just to make

15:20

sure you know so going into it did you know you would do two or just based on the first experience so what was that

15:27

like for you to like go through of this do the retrieval and then have to gear decide to gear up and do it again yeah I

15:34

think for me it was because my first like the first process was so easy uh in

15:42

my mind fortunately that um I was okay to do the second round and and so it was

15:49

an easy decision to go yeah I probably should just do it um and and be done with it yeah and so and the second round

15:55

was when I met my husband yes tell that story because I think that's story is so

16:02

amazing yeah the irony right they like oh I don't know when I'm going to meet someone so I might as well just do it

16:08

and I end up meeting my husband during the second round um and it was as you know it um happens when you least exp

16:17

clich people say it all the time it's actually true oh my God I know and that when I met Rob that kind of annoyed me

16:22

cuz when I was single everyone used to tell me and it's like and you hated hearing it I hated hearing it and then I met Rob just like that I'm like these

16:29

were right they were right the whole time I was like damn it I was so mad at them and they were exactly

16:35

right I and I thought the same thing with with Adam um I was going through my

16:41

my I was about to go through my second round actually yes no so I finished my

16:48

first round and during that process of finishing the first round I already had my procedure I was a maid of honor at My

16:55

Best Friend's Wedding and that's how I met my husband was at my best friend 20 this was what I least expected because

17:02

look I'm freezing my eggs I'm quitting my job I'm moving to La yeah you're not thinking about a relation and I don't want to I didn't

17:08

want to meet someone before I moved either well yeah so then after that we

17:14

um it took a long time until we got to our first date it's like a whole story in itself so so we end up going on our

17:21

first date and that's when I decided to do my second round and so on our second date was during my second round and as

17:27

you know you have to give your shot at the same time every day yes yes life goes on got to make it work um and I

17:35

don't stop I'm the person I will make it work I won't stop my life oh God yes yes yes we we we have that capacity we make

17:42

it all work exactly and so this was during our second date and I knew that I

17:47

had to give my shot at 700 p.m. during dinner and so I prepped my syringe put

17:53

it in the Box put it in my purse set an alarm and the alarm went off during

17:59

dinner and I'm like excuse me I got to go to the bathroom so I go take my purse

18:05

and gave my shot in a women's public bathroom in a restaurant during my

18:10

second day yep and so and when I came out and I thought to myself I wonder if

18:16

you just thought it was weird that my alarm went off and I took my purse to the bathroom and and so I told myself

Telling Him

18:22

you know what I'm just going to tell him because before I I went on this date with him a lot of my friends were like

18:28

you know maybe just don't tell him everything that you're doing cuz that's going to intimidate him or Scare oh God

18:34

that comes up a lot on that like with the dating of like do you tell that you froze your eggs how do you say it when

18:39

do you say it it's all this angst around it ex yeah I mean to that point there

18:44

like you're you're moving you're quitting your job you're starting a business you're freezing it maybe not tell him that like all the things don't

18:51

throw it all on him at once exactly but you know after coming out of the bathroom I thought about it and I said

18:57

thought to myself well if he doesn't like me or love me or whatever with everything that I have

19:03

going on then he's not the right person for me yeah so I told him I'm like look this is what's going on this is why I

19:08

went to the bathroom I'm in the middle of my freezing my eggs this is the process and he looked at me and he

19:14

said good for you you know I'll hang on to this one yeah you're like way take

19:20

charge of your life you know he's like that's very admirable um and when I had

19:25

my procedure retrieval procedure he remembered and and he sent me flowers that's right you told me this yeah he

19:31

sent me flowers and that was when I was like oh he's a keeper y I'll hang on to this one I'll hang on to this one so

19:37

yeah that was my my second time was during my uh second date with my now husband oh that's amazing that's amazing

19:46

so yeah where from there like what was it like cuz I know you've been you're an open Buck you're you're here with us

19:52

like what was it like to and you said some of your friends now are reaching out to you what was it like when you started to share about like what were

19:59

some of the responses what were people asking saying I have so there's two different camps now it's one that are

20:06

are like considering it or they have already done it but they they'll come to me and ask me questions like what was

20:11

your experience and um what to expect or some will need help with shots because

20:17

they can't do it themselves you know uh so I have those and then the other are I

20:22

wish I thought of it because it's too late for me now I know there's a lot of that I wish I had done it sooner you

Its Not Too Late

20:28

know some of the guests that we have had on recently and one earlier this morning one tomorrow and we already had another

20:34

one Frozen their 40s so I think it's just this why these conversations are so important because there's really these

20:40

old you know misunderstandings about what age and and all of these things and I think that it's not if you're 30 I

20:47

froze at 37 39 40 41 it's not too late notate yeah so I think it's helpful to

20:53

put that out there and to know at least go get checked and finding a good doctor

21:01

women that are old so that's so important ising that would just explore it with you before you just say oh I'm

21:07

the sage it's it's too late I'm glad you said that because the women because yes

21:12

it's never too late and you need to find a good doctor that will go the extra mile um to help you and support you but

21:20

the women that I was referring to are the ones that are truly like they're they went to the doctor and they're like

21:25

there are no eggs for us to freeze that kind of you know where they realize that

21:30

I wish I thought about it before but I didn't because it wasn't nobody talked about it no so I

Normalizing Journeys

21:37

think what you're doing here is great than yeah I think that's the whole the whole intention is just getting more

21:42

information out there and just normalizing Journeys that look different or paths that look different and you

21:48

know I do want to talk a little bit about the career piece because I think that is so aligned with everything that we're talking about is like we don't

21:54

have to take these traditional paths especially if we find ourselves having a calling to do

21:59

it's about just beinged and KN that it's okay to like want to do something or

22:05

it's okay if you don't meet your partner to later it's okay if you are not sure about motherhood like just let's just

22:12

have these conversations and normalize everything I agree I think I was actually having a conversation with my

22:17

cousin on the way here and I was telling him I was like you know it's always good

22:23

to just be transparent and honest with people and make sure that you're not painting like this it's all roses and

22:30

rainbows and butterflies and you know because then you can't have a real conversation that helps somebody else

22:36

right because I find if I open up about my struggles or whatever I'm going through that actually helps them feel

Vulnerability

22:43

safe yeah because yes 100% the vulnerability is so huge and I think

22:48

there and this is the reason that this is a podcast now is because I went through this in isolation not knowing

22:54

many people not knowing many much information and then the second I did it and started sharing it's like oh my clients are going through this my

23:00

friends are going through this all these women are going through and it's like wait a second like this this is what's going on and we're not talking about it

23:07

and then you know anything when you have to hide there's shame around it there's feeling bad about yourself about it it's

23:13

like no you don't have to feel bad about it like this is what it is let's like talk about it and let's reconcile it

23:19

let's heal it let's plan for it yep I agree it's it's empowering you know to

23:24

to be able to do that to make that decision to freeze eggs and and it's an

Emotional Process

23:30

emotional totally decision it's an emotional process um oh I love that you

23:35

said that too because I think there's that piece of it the decision making piece and I know this was my own

23:42

experience and a lot of women's like I and I'm hopeful with with things like this and anyone else speaking about egg

23:48

freezing and just more information we have out there that women are informed enough to look into it sooner yes but I

23:54

did not feel empowered I felt afraid I felt overwhelmed I felt angry

24:01

that I was 37 and having to do this now I froze in a relationship because we weren't aligned on our timelines but

24:07

empowered was not not one that I felt but I think that the more information women have and the opportunity to maybe

24:14

look in it to sooner it might be more empowerment than all the things that I felt yes and that's what we want to

24:20

change right the more we talk about it the more it's like hey it's okay yeah it's totally okay it's great in fact

24:25

that we have this option it's great there's more convers great thatan are offerings and like

24:31

hopefully everybody's catching up I just saw someone s something to me recently that like companies are adding more of

24:37

these benefits to also stay competitive because people are choosing jobs based on whether or not they have this benefit

24:43

exactly I mean it's more and more women career focus and starting families later

24:49

and later in life you know this should be the norm this should be the direction we're going in in terms of options well

24:57

and just being more inclusive in that like some companies would just have it only for like couples going through IVF

25:03

but it's like what about the single women that like also want to preserve exactly exactly so mhm I agree I mean

Company

25:11

with career and everything it's the timely that we're having this conversation is because it's been on my

25:17

mind a lot um I'll be 40 in 5 months o big birthday yeah big birthday are you

25:22

doing something big to celebrate I want to yes you should I want to and I'm like

25:28

hopefully hope I will um it's just with everything going on with work and like I

25:33

said with Madison St having your own company and then we have to talk about your company because just what it stands

25:38

for the philosophy is so aligned with everything we want to message but sorry to cut you off we'll get there good I

25:43

mean Madison savil it's a women's Blazers and Suits R I'm wearing one of my blazers today um but it is about

25:51

being on the journey with the woman and being helping her be empowered and

25:57

feeling inspired and and encourage and in everything that we do so with the design of our Blazers with you know

26:03

podcasts and community and charity events cuz a portion of our proceeds go to Charities that help women I love that

26:10

um and so and part of the design you know Unstoppable and fierce oh my God is what is lying on the inside and then

26:16

every new collection um is going to be something different and the second collection that we have coming out in

26:22

the fall winter is is about you know feeling confident and and and knowing it

26:31

and understanding it's it's what's lining on the inside is believe it feel it see it oh my God I love that cuz when

Emotion

26:38

you believe it and you feel it the emotion that come with that comes with it you'll see it come to life well the

26:44

feel it is so important because in my work as a therapist like you know so much we're in our like rational mind

26:50

right so you can say something to somebody like and they're like I hear it but I don't feel it and you can't attach

26:57

to it and create change until you actually feel it yeah oh my gosh I love that I love that so with that I mean

27:06

that is just all part of the journey right and and I feel like the purpose and the calling of doing things like

27:13

this where I'm like the the experiences that I go through I want to share with people so then they know and I can be of

27:20

service to them and they don't feel alone and and so with this it's very

27:26

fitting with career because you know 40 and my husband and I talk about wanting to have kids and we talk about more and

27:31

more but lot you hear a lot of people like oh there's never a good time to have kids you just have to have kids

27:37

just work it out right yeah and I'm like I know that but there are better times

27:44

listen and it's your life you get you get to decide you get to decide so with

27:49

that i' I've said I'm like hey I froze my eggs at least I have that you know and and I don't feel that pressure I of

27:56

course I feel that pressure for my mother cuz you know moms um they're like Tick Tock and I'm like I know I know the

28:02

freaking clock but it's it's your it's your mom's clock not your clock exactly so that's a thing too it's like

Society Clock

28:08

sometimes it's everybody else's clock it's not yours it's society's clock it's family it's friends it's all this external noise and that's what's so

28:15

important to get really clear on your own timeline and like give yourself permission to honor that timeline and

28:21

not feel the pressure of like at this age I'm supposed to have this and it's supposed to look like this and it doesn't look like this everybody's says

28:27

different yeah everybody's is different and it's easy for other people to tell you like you have a kid I'm like are you

28:33

going to take care of that kid are you going to pay for daycare you know so it's easy for someone going to

28:40

wake up at 3 in the morning exactly you're like okay yeah because I mean that's exactly what happened between my

28:47

mother and my sister my mom being a mother is like I want grandchildren I want Grand so she has a kid and guess

28:52

what now she my youngest sister she's she has a toddler and she's pregnant with number two and she's going through

29:00

that right now where like daycare is a mortgage oh gosh it's all expensive it's all yeah it is and she's like I mean if

29:07

I go to work I probably net $10 to like you know send my kids to a stranger to

29:13

be watched all day while I go to work might as well just stay home and watch my kids and so she's kind of going

29:19

through that thing and and I talk to my mom she's like oh yeah you know so I'm like yeah see you didn't think about

29:25

that part when you wanted grand kids yeah so that's why I'm like it's easier for

29:31

people to say but they're not living your life no yeah and whether it's like kids related relationship related

29:37

timeline anything not just yes absolutely totally totally so fast forward freezing my a at 34 now that I'm

29:44

40 and I am facing that you know yes I know I'm turning 40 I want to have kids

29:50

but right now and like barely sleep because of everything going on am exp I

29:55

know well you could yeah listen we're expansive we have limited we have unlimited capacity that's my belief

Unlimited Capacity

30:01

about women and you know when it's ready for you you will find you'll find the way to do it exactly my very best

30:06

girlfriend she was on season one her and I were like on the same journey and path like always on the phone with each other

30:12

like walking ourselves off the ledge and she just had her first she had her daughter uh couple days ago a few days

30:19

ago and she's 43 about to be 44 so it's never too late exactly and I again back

30:25

to your podcast and what you're doing and spreading the word and sharing these stories is amazing and phenomenal

Its Never Too Late

30:32

because that's exact people need to hear these stories people need to hear that

30:38

it's never too late and here are all the stories and examples that are happening you know know I found such reassurance

30:44

in that before I had my son so I got pregnant at 39 had my son at 40 funny story and Shelly was there I was eight

30:50

months pregnant at my big 40th birthday bash we went to Scottdale it was a blowout it was so so fun but I was 8

30:57

months pregnant but I had still had so much fun um I forgot what where I was going with that what was I talking about

31:03

I just got into the scotdale 40th birthday and I'm like just there right now just never it's never too

31:09

late yeah yeah you know I it made sense for me then that that was the right time

The Right Time

31:15

for me and I found that's what I was saying I found such a reassurance when I wasn't pregnant yet but like I would see

31:21

other people get pregnant and then I would look at their age I'm like okay they're this age like you could still do it so I found so much reassurance in

31:27

seeing other people's stories about doing this later in life and I think just now recently where more people are

31:33

sharing there wasn't that many stories out there it was like you meet in your 30s you get married at this age you have

31:38

the babies at this time and that was like one playbook for that and that was it and so then you look at your life and

31:44

you're like mine's not looking like that like what's going on what's wrong yeah exactly now I have a question for you

31:49

yes good I love to I love to be on the other side you you question me well you said you know that you knew that it was

31:56

the right time for you so how you know how we were talk about relationships she like oh yeah when you meet the one you

32:02

just know very cliche but also very true also true true yeah but now the question

32:07

is how did you know when you're like okay I'm ready to have kids okay that's a great question I love that you asked

32:12

me that um I I think for me it was really true that like I started to have

32:18

this maternal Instinct and I started to really have this desire to be a mom and to be really honest when I met Rob at 34

32:25

because my life hadn't like panned out the way that it should I started to accept this idea that maybe marriage and

32:30

children were not for me and that didn't mean I didn't want them but it was like if it doesn't happen I'm still going to be happy and then I met Rob and we had

32:37

this amazing relationship and we're having so much fun and we're traveling and I'm building my career and my practice and all these things and then

32:43

something just started to slowly like shift in me oh okay that I was like I knew I wanted to be a mom so Rob and I

The Shift

32:50

were having those conversations and I froze at 37 because we weren't aligned on time and yeah I think something just

32:57

totally started a shift for me where I like I knew I really wanted to do it I didn't know it would be I didn't know

33:03

when exactly but I don't know I I I did fall to the the timeline piece like that

33:09

started to really pressure me um but yeah I think there was just as I got older I got clearer that I really wanted

33:16

I did so much in my 30s I had a blast I traveled everywhere I got an opportunity to really find what I love to do and

33:23

everything kind of really felt in place for me and that has supported my motherhood Journey so much because it

Enjoy Your Timeline

33:29

felt right it felt so right I'm like secure completely secure in my relationship completely secure in my

33:35

career and I'm more patient I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything so for me being becoming a mom at 40 was just

33:42

like meant to be it was meant to be that way but I had so much angst about it up until then I wish and this is part of my

33:49

intention of the podcast too is like enjoy your timeline enjoy your journey there were so many moments that I only

33:55

could focus on what I didn't have yet I was like losing sight of what I had and I don't want I if I can like minimize

34:02

that for anybody or Safeguard anybody from that like that's that's one of the goals because that there were really hard moments for me and thank you for

34:10

sharing that thank you for asking I love to get a question thank you for sharing that

34:15

because and you hit on a lot of just those points right like when you're when you were talking and sharing I was

34:21

reflecting at the same time of my own feelings and what I'm going through because it's true it's it's

34:28

getting to a point of feeling like yeah I'm ready and not feeling like oh I'm missing out on this or I don't have time

34:34

or the patience right you said instincts the the patience and and

34:41

where I'm at in that timeline of what you shared right I'm like we like half

34:47

half like I see kids We love kids my my husband loves kids he's really good with

34:52

kids um I love kids I have like that baby fever but there are days I'm like no not today well let me share this with

35:00

you because even as a mother some days you're going to be like I don't want to be a bomb today and I I I want to be

35:05

very sensitive when I say that because there are women that aren't mothers and I know that was hard for me to hear but I would just want to normalize that too

35:10

there's going to be days where it's just like you're overwhelmed you're overstretched and like there are some days where you're like oh man that was

35:16

like really nice when I had my one-bedroom condo and I was the only one living in it and all these things but that's perfectly normal too what I'll

Life Doesnt Stop After Kids

35:24

share for you too is like I'm a believe life does not stop after kids like there's the stuff I've been able to do

35:30

since I get to be here in La doing this podcast like for me I it hasn't stopped

35:36

because I have my son and I don't think that it has to so all the goals and things you still want to do for yourself are still I agree with possible yeah I I

35:44

my husband and I you know watch and observe and we like no we cannot be you know those couples or people that people

35:51

do it people do people do and that's okay if that's what they want you know but for us we want to continue our lives

35:57

and Our Lives will continue and the kids will be part of it and our world is not

36:02

going to revolve around them they're gonna come along for the right I think that's so healthy uh and I already tell

36:08

it's going to be a controversial thing clip that's going to get commented on but whatever oh oh yeah yeah everybody

36:15

you know everybody has their own opinions on the way they want to raise their kids and that's okay you know um

36:21

but I'm just speaking for us like we want we want to to bring him on trips

36:27

want them to be exposed to all these things and and normalize that and not

36:32

tiptoe around the kids I think too my feeling and I'll speak just for myself as well there's things I want to model

36:39

to my son like about his mother having a life and identity and goals and ambition

36:46

so that's important for me to show him an interest and desire to travel so that's really important to model to my

36:53

son so like again life that's part of like this life doesn't stop when you

Im Ready To Be A Mom

36:58

and and what going back to what you said earlier about just having that calm and

37:04

peace about yeah I'm ready to be a mom but that's that's what I'm going for cuz

37:09

it's not right now right right now I'm like that's not the place I'm in to have that go that calm and that peace and I'm

37:16

ready right and it's like it's more of I have to check myself I'm like is this pressure from my family or is it

37:23

pressure from societ I love it yeah I love that is Diana ready

37:29

that's the separation of like what's going on here I know and I think that you know without conversations like this

37:34

without normalizing different Journeys I I've had so many conversations with women where it had to be this moment of like wait do I want this do I want this

37:42

career or do I want to work in finance or did other people tell me that's what I wanted do I want to be in a Rel like

37:48

so it's that moment and Clarity to say wait a second right is this what I want or is this what everybody else is

37:54

telling me that I want or is this what everybody else is doing so I think I should be doing that too exactly exactly

37:59

I mean that was the check that I had with my own career right growing up you know from um in a in a family strict

38:07

father strict parents like this is what you're going to do you know oh yeah and end up going down that you know Finance

38:14

route and then about in my 30s I'm like is this really really I know that moment

38:19

of like why did everybody tell me this like I don't enjoy this I had the same experience I was told to go into find I

38:26

had no idea what I wanted to do and they were like go into finance and my dad's like it's not about being happy I was

38:32

talking about this on the last episode and so you go into finance and I got into finance and I was like this is it I

38:38

hate this I would cry I I just I and it started my journey to eventually find what I loved but yeah that same kind

38:44

we're told this is the path so you go down that path exactly so same thing with kids you know just check yourself

38:51

where is it where is this pressure coming from is it from yourself is it from society is it from your family you

38:57

know separate all those voices I love that well I was going to ask you what do you want to leave the audience with but

39:02

I you know that I think is amazing and great is like to separate all the voices and that's with not just having children

39:09

it's with everything you know your career marriage should you be in a relationship should you not be in a

39:15

relationship you want to live where you want to live you're like this because at the end of the day it's you living your

39:21

life it's you you know time resources money Health mental Health your remot

39:28

everything is going to be impacted you're going to be impacted by the decisions you make yes not what someone

39:34

else tells you what to yeah and if you're listening to other people and it's not align with you want you're just not living in like Joy or fulfillment or

39:41

and yeah I mean that was you taking this sleep to do your career now and I love what your company stands for I love that

39:48

we get to be here in person and we get to have this amazing conversation thank you so so so much for being here thank

39:53

you for having me here yeah oh my gosh this is amazing thank you if you're someone struggling or relating to the

40:00

topics that we're talking about now and you're feeling the anxiety or the stress or the pressure of feeling like you're

40:05

running out of time you're behind and you want some extra support check out my

40:11

group therapy practice in Midtown Manhattan NYC therapeutic Wellness we have an amazing team of clinicians ready

40:17

to support you in your journey to help you feel more grounded to help you feel more grateful to help you feel like

40:24

you're just exactly where you need to be so check us out at www.nyc therapeutic wellness.com hey

40:32

guys I'm Beth thank you so much for tuning in to quiet the clock if you want to hear more episodes and learn more about how to dismantle societal

40:39

timelines live life on your own terms live life fully And authentically subscribe to our Channel on YouTube and

40:45

you can also follow us on Instagram and Tik Tok at quiet the clock pod

40:51

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