Embracing Life's Uncertainties with Therapists Who Get It

you hear these narratives maybe maybe it's just me but I don't know maybe other people hear these narratives of

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why people get engaged and my biggest pet peeve is hearing like well she's

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getting older and I am like [Music]

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no okay I am so so thrilled to have my dear friend colleague

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menty badass all of the things I'm so proud of everything that you're doing back here today um you were on

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previously but we're going to have a very different conversation today because things are going on in your life that are re always relevant but relevant

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to this these topics and I had a completely different outfit planned for today but I got gifted merch and I want

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to share these amazing sweatshirts by Lauren in between sessions she has one on two I'm so excited that you wanted to

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wear it oh my God I'm pumped I was like I'm just going to wear it but she can wear it want are yeah super soft really

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really great so you're an angel buy one get one and you can wear them when you're in between any type of session a

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podcast session or a therapy session or whatever life sessions you know sessions with your BFF exactly that's basically

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what this is cuz we have no preparation for today say I have prepared nothing for today let's just let it fly let it

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flow so tell me where you're at last time you were here on the podcast you were turning 30 or yeah like right

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around yeah so tell us how you are I know so I was talking about like past

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life experiences and you know ideas about freezing my eggs basically and

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like past relationships and just like not really talking about a lot of current decisions that I was making

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around this but I've wanted to freeze my eggs for a long time like I've always

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kind of thought about it because being a mom is something that I want to do eventually and so thought about it when

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I've been single and I think it's kind of actually even more interesting to

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think about being in a relationship and making this decision cuz like which I share that experience so I can't wait to

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hear about that CU there's like a shared decision that you're making but then

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it's also like if you're not married or engaged it's like well is this my

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decision to make am I solo on this boat like am I making these decisions as a backup plan and like

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I really don't want to feel that way so I've had like several conversations with my partner about like doing this together which I think is really amazing

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and helpful and like you don't feel alone when that's happening but I think

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like even my mom I think she was like why don't we just wait and get pregnant naturally and one of the thoughts that I

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had and then one of the conversations that I had when I went in for my consultation was like well how big of a

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family do you want to have oh how many kids do you want to have this could be for yeah you could get naturally

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pregnant on your first go around first time you started trying at 33 34 but do

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you want to have three kids and I was I love that they asked you that question so that's something maybe you hadn't thought about before no and I I think it

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was always like a scarcity mindset of like well what if I have trouble getting pregnant what if I have infertility

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issues what if I get married later which is already happening obviously like but that's the thing like you're not that's

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the point right like but maybe that's the internal I don't know where does that message come from that you're late

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no and I don't feel like I'm late because I have friends who are married and having babies right now and I have friends who are totally single so like I

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do feel like I'm right along the center of the road I don't feel like I'm behind

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I think the the only fear for me I have no pressure or thoughts about when I

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want to get married or you know I know for you like marriage isn't even the thing that stopped you from having your

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family right but you know that's I would love to be married for sure but

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with with my partner with Rob it's like it's so funny melis and I were talking about this on the way down it's like

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sometimes maybe this is with Mike too like you have to be like strategic sometimes about like what you ask and

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when and like people are going to take that completely the wrong way but like I always want to have good conversation so

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if like Rob is not in a space to have that like I recognize that and like I'm going to pick and choose when those

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things are and for me because of my age the kids was the thing that mattered

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more than marriage so I wasn't going to be like let's get married and have a kid I was like I want to have a kid and so

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marriage was kind of and that's still where I am and I would like that one day

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but also I feel so committed and happy and fulfilled in my relationship that I don't feel like we need to do that like

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tomorrow totally um I'd love to have I I bean I love Rob and Rob's family so much

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I have so much respect for them that I would be honored to have their last name and I'd like to have the last last name

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him as my son but it's no for me no reflection of like the status or the health of my relationship totally and

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for me I was like you hear these narratives maybe maybe it's just me but

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I don't know maybe other people hear these narratives of why people get engaged and my biggest pet peeve is

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hearing like well she's getting older and I'm am like no the wrong reason know

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how many of those people are going to get yeah well I don't know but like the this almost like guys have may I'm I'm

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trying not to be stereotypical but I've heard this a lot where men get to a certain age and someone's like oh my God

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you guys are getting engaged and it's like maybe they're just trying to be cool about it but they're like yeah you know she's 32 and blah blah blah blah

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and I'm like why are you saying that you should only be saying yeah I'm obsessed with my partner and I want to get married to them and I'm so excited and

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so I think also part of this decision-making process is for me to not rush the natural progression of things

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like whether it happens or not what you know whatever happens like timeline wise

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or like I don't want any part in if we get engaged and make a plan to get

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married like I really do want to be surprised and I don't want to be nagging and I don't I have such an aversion to

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the nagging girlfriend it doesn't feel genuine I had a friend like that too and it's like she had pictures of rings all

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over the apartment it was like the screen saver on the computer and then when it happened she acted like all

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surprised I'm like but are you you that scene for a while and you and I have talked about like there's there's a

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time to push or like ask questions get clarity but I also think that part of me

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doing this is to protect myself from turning into a person that I don't want to be in my relationship my God yes

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speak to that more because I think that is so huge and that happened for me too it's the pressure and stress of when or

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if I would be a mother manifested into everything yeah like Rob was like late

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for something I'm like I'm always waiting for you you know every it just I love that you know that I love that you

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said that because I lived it and it's [ __ ] terrible well and as therapist we know exactly where that's coming from

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right but do we always have the tools to be able to stop it um hardly ever like I'm always both very good therapists but

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like real life's no it's like I I always joke about like uh at the end of the day

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I would like to be the worst version of myself thank you so much um and unfortunately our partners and sometimes our friends or family like get the like

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Brent of that because it's like no I know what I have to do almost sometimes I wish that I didn't yeah didn't have

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these skills and these trainings and this degree yeah and this like social yeah awareness of like the psychological

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things going on in my head but it's exactly that is like the pressure and the fear and the anxiety causes us to

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find problems in something that's not actually the problem 100 and take our anger and our frustration out on the

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people that we love so I think also doing this is kind of giving myself a

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gift to not be a version of myself I don't love love that yeah no I think

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it's so proactive and it's so thoughtful like because I didn't even and I I love

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you know I think all these conversations are so helpful in the information to like even just look into these things at a younger age is like I didn't have

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those tools I didn't have those conversations I guess that's why I started a podcast about it to pay for to tell everybody yeah but I love that

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because it's so true you can I and I did you can turn in this version of yourself you just don't like and it's almost like

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you're watching a train wreck you're like I see myself doing it I see how awful yeah and for Rob like we would

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have really deep conversations about this and and he was amazing because when I told him what all of those little

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things were connected to he's like okay okay so it's just that it's not I was like yeah he's like okay like I get that

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it's not really that I'm always late like it's not that like I hate you so much no but he like he was able to

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really like take that in like if I could have safeguarded our whole relationship from that version myself I I wish so I

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just like can't emphasize that enough I think that's amazing that you have that thought well and how helpful for you to

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be creating this space because I posted on my business and I feel it's so

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interesting because it's like this is a very intimate thing and sometimes I feel like I'm like betraying my relationship

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a little bit by like being like does anybody on the internet want to know about my egg freezing Journey like I hope that like people aren't judging

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that but at the same time I posted just a little bit about my consultation and like the good experience that I had

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there and I did a poll like does anybody else want to hear about this oh my god did everybody say I got like two Nos and

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like over like 200 guesses women want to hear they do want to hear and my friends have been like wait what was that like

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and like how much is it going to cost you and like what did they say because we're all around the same age and you

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know I've been able to just have like very one-on-one intimate conversations with people to share like my why but

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then also be like but I also could do this in a few years and I think it would be around the same so you're probably

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fine too like just you know but if you wanted to get it checked out like my initial consultation was like 300 and

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then the you know ultrasound and whatever was 300 and as therapists we don't have very good insurance but like

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I'm always like if you have insurance coverage for it like do it now just so you know just so you have a little bit

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of information because even I'm good my egg count is good my blood levels were

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good do you mind sharing like where you went walk through your consult like what what was it like for you going in there

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what was it like for you to come out of there I had so many emotions yeah I didn't have as many emotions going into

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it because I was hopeful I guess and I don't know I didn't have a I didn't have

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any doomsday thoughts of like oh no they're going to tell me I'm infertile but I think because I've had doctors

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who've been poke around in there before be like and there are your little eggs those look good and I'm like okay but I

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walked in and kindbody is where I went and it's a beautiful space in flat iron

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and it's like very well decorated and I think like immediately I was like I love it here but I think that matters like

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you have to feel a certain way when you walk into place the the place where I froze and did my made my embryos I

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remember being in there I won't say where it was but if anyone wants to know they can ask me offline I it was like

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the bathroom wasn't clean like I remember the last time I was in there I was like I hate this place so I oh yeah

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I yeah um so I think all of that matters like to feel like the warmth like atic

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and I think it's like if you take care of your space you care about what you're doing I think it's such a reflection of

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the place absolutely and I know a lot of people love uh spring fertility as well so like I feel like those are my two

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options I'm not a big researcher so I think I just like heard about kindbody saw about it and I was like I'll just go

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and now I've kind of started the process so I'm like like I'm in it now um but I think there's a lot of places and I always recommend other people do more

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research than I do same same same I didn't do any either I don't remember

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perfect I yeah I don't even remember how I chose the place but I would have chose differently and I would have done yeah

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so I think you start it and then they're like okay well your blood yeah they're like your blood work and your ultrasound are valid for a year and I'm like I REM

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I I remember it was like two months ago I remember when um I texted Michael that

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week and I was like okay wait they just told me like my blood work and my ultrasound are only

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going to be valid for like a year so like kind of like are we down for doing this in a year and he's so funny every

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time I ask him these like hard questions that I think they're going to be hard he's like Life's too short or like oh

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but you get surprised by he's always like obviously and I'm like what it's like a onew response and he's

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like yeah obviously it makes sense to do it in the year then and I'm like cool cool like I'm over here having like a

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yeah you you know it's like well I want to get through that walk through the con I want to get through to to the

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conversations with him because those are not easy hard conversations um but then

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I I talked to a woman Abby she was my nurse practitioner she came in after the

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ultrasound and I swear I've never been in a doctor's appointment where it feels like they're not rushing you out she and

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I sat down I had brought business cards for my company to be like if you have anyone who struggles with eating

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disorders and fertility and they're struggling with like the pregnancy stuff she like took it asked me all about my practice like we were going back and

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forth she answered every question I had she repeated herself like I don't know

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how long it was to be honest because I was like just so in the conversation with her every other doctor's

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appointment I think I've ever been to you feel like you're just whoop whoop whoop like's so many women that have done the egg freezing have felt that

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like the conveyor belt feeling so that's amazing to know that she like you felt like you had time with her and not

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rushed yeah so intentional and so great and then the biggest thing that I guess

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I not didn't realize but the planning piece of it I sat down I was like oh

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shoot okay so this two and a half week period of injections and then the you

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know will let you know when it's going to be it's going to be like a two-day range and then it's like I I looked at

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my calendar and you know me like I'm a busy person yes you are and we have a

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ton of travel over the sum just like weddings and things happening that I wouldn't want to potentially be

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injecting myself and maybe like I don't know I don't know how it's going to affect my mood I don't know yeah you don't know how you'll feel what it's

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going to feel like I don't particularly like to not drink at some of these things like not that that's like driving

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my but like but it's like you want to yeah I think that's important though you want to do it when you feel like you can

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you have the capacity for it that you don't feel like and you can life still will happen like you'll still probably

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be busy those two and plus weeks that you're doing but like yeah you get to choose like I don't want to be

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inconvenienced in the summer when I'm traveling like I don't want to worry about that I think that's important to

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make a choice around so I was like I guess it's either April or all the way

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in the fall and I think we're just going to do it at the end of the month and I'm going to start so that was like the

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initial process of like I guess not that it was sooner than I expected but it

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started and then I realized okay this process has sort of a timeline based off of just like my investment that I've

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already started and they're telling me this is a great time to do it and it's

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either now or the same exact thing next year or the year after like why not just

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do it and get it over with kind of thing do you feel like like you do you feel

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like because you started the process like I I would hear like waiting till the fall and be like no no no I don't want to wait that long exactly I felt

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like it was just going to be on my mind and and I talked about this the other night where and I always ask him if I'm

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allowed to talk about these things so like he always tells me I can talk about whatever I want tells me not to talk about he tells you not to I try not to

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Mike like never like consumes my content or like does anything so like I like I always talk about it very respectfully

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but like I I hear that like this is their lives and and this is their privacy too so I try to be very mindful

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about but you know I see the importance of sharing this stuff for other women so and I think he kind of knows that that's

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the intention coming behind it that I'm not just trying to like chat about our relationship on a public forum but

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because I think it's a really common experience to like struggle with like

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how to bring it up to a partner maybe like I don't know how many people are doing this like pre uh marriage but like

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with someone that they've been with for two years like it's that weird thing of like we're like together together right

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like we're going to like make some decisions like together right like I don't have to keep like rowing this boat

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by myself right like it is such a like and it's like everybody how unique and different everybody's story is even

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though it's a similar experience because there are women that do it single and I can't relate to that because I never that wasn't my experience and I'm

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similar to you I did it with Rob when we were in a and are still in a very committed relationship and that was like

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a whole another and even your your journey or story with Mike is maybe different with Rob NY because I it

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sounds like you guys are on board to do it together and I was doing it because we were not on board in terms of timeline of kids well and you know

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there's there's that insecurity always like in the back of your mind of like do it for you and I've had friends be like

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do it for you you know like throughout the the ongoing conversation and I think

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that's totally fair too but I think prior to exactly right now I always

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pictured doing it because I was single because I wasn't in a relationship like when I looked at my future self I was

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like this is something that you do if you're single by a certain age and you

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want to make sure you're going to be a mother no matter what whether it's with a person or a donor or whatever and now

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it's interesting to be like the same thing with like doing the making the decision for like a third kid or a

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second kid crazy like that's life like right you see one vision and then it's a completely different but there's so many

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other reasons to do it which like I guess I wasn't even opening my eyes to

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that it's just like this is something that is going to be helpful no matter what no matter where the and I think

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that's important to like continue to shed some light on it might not be for baby one it might not be for baby two

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like if you want three kids and by the time you start you're you know later 40s

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like orever later 30s early 40s like those eggs might be able to be the thing that gives you your third kid and that's

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like the realism that you bring into it yes and I'm just not an idealist like I

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am like where are the holes what could go wrong how can I prevent it as much as possible and I

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know that this is not a guarantee but at least I'm opening myself and my partner

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up to the options that we might want based off of what the next few years

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looks like yeah and I also like say we get married in like I don't know two years three years like I don't know if I

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necessarily want to get pregnant immediately like I like the idea of like enjoying every stage and phase of life

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and I think that gives me a little bit more like it's the scarcity of we have to do this right now oh my God this

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isn't going to happen this is the just this is one of the decisions you can make like you said earlier give you that space so you can enjoy all the seasons

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like you don't yeah that's that's my one regret is that well I don't everything

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happened the way we're supposed to I'm still waiting to see how that all works out but um yeah I

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think taking the pressure off whether it's through egg freezing or anything like if you're single and haven't met

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somebody yet just the value of being and I'm not saying that like it's easy but if you could just take the pressure off

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and I think part of the pressure is external where there's these timelines and expectations and societal expectations than our own internal

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pressure but like give yourself the space so you can enjoy all of your life right I mean I'll still worry probably

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knowing myself well we can elim worry all together but I think like it takes

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it takes and drains so much to feel that pressure and like it's hard to see

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clearly sometimes when you're in that space of feeling like pressure or timeline or has to happen now or

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scarcity and you and I have talked about this because I know you lived your city life and you had your nights and like oh

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yeah I'm starting to be in this weird place where like some days I'm like oh

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little baby like I just want to hold one like I used to Nanny like I'm just like I miss feeling I miss the feeling of like having a baby on me and like being

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a mom like it feels like this like huge call that I'm like starting to be drawn

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to especially as I'm like well Friday nights I'm staying in anyway like some of the time

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and then part of me is still like I love the city I love the hustle we just resigned our lease like I'm in the West

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Village like my life is amazing I love it I wouldn't change anything yeah and so it's nice to be able to enjoy both

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totally and start to be like oh like whenever this is going to happen like I'm GNA be so so ready because I'll have

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done everything that I've wanted to do totally I was just saying this on the earlier episode that we recorded that it

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made you know while there was so much angst and stress and anxiety about being a mom later one stean was here I was

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like this makes so much sense cuz I did so many and Rob and I did so many amazing things like traveled part all

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these things and I'm like I wouldn't have wanted to miss all of that and now I have more time more space more

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patience and I'm I think I'm a way better mom for it oh that makes me so

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happy and I'm sure that you are because you're such a good mom and partner and thank you but I didn't I don't feel

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like I missed anything I feel like I did all the things I don't feel like Dean is some is is a person that keeps me from

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living that life because I did all that I did that life and I outgrew that life now do I still want to travel and do all

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things yeah but it's not the same exactly but you did so much of it before him that it doesn't ever grow into maybe

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like a resentment or anything like that not at all so tell me I love everything

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you're saying tell me about the conversations with Mike like how did you bring it to him I how did you bring how

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did you bring it to him were you nervous to bring it to him yes I was very nervous because I think of exactly the

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narrative that I was speaking to before of not wanting to nag or not wanting to pressure or push someone into something

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that they don't necessarily want to do and it's hard to have these conversations without implying that like

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conversation CU it's like well if you're GNA have my babies with me I'm assuming we're going to do other stuff to get

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there hoping all the all of those things and it's I definitely didn't do it as

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intentionally as I wanted to I believe I had had three espressive martinis oh that'll help after my holiday party with

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my team I was like already in bed he came home from something else and I was like so do you want to marry me or

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not horrible uh delivery and like the so nerve-wracking like I always used to

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describe it like as this double dutch because yeah like okay do I say it now I want to say bye tonight but then it's

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yeah it's hard it's hard it's so hard and then it was like my follow-up question was like well then we have to freeze my eggs because I can see that

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you're not moving what kind of night did you have yeah like he's literally like you were just like with your team like I'm so confused as to like where this is

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coming from I think because I had just been thinking about it for a while and wanting to do it I think around this

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year of my life and I think basically what I wanted to know was should I do

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this by myself and should we continue to move forward with our relationship the way we have been or like sort of do you

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want to be a part of it um and he does want to be a part of it at least

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for now um and he has like you know friends who have helped their

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girlfriends or wives or whatever like do the injections and he's like well I'll ask them what's what it's like um so

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what does that mean or look like if you don't mind me asking for him to be a part of it I think just not feeling like I'm alone

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in it and I think it would have probably created a bit of a divide in our relationship a little bit or maybe you

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know maybe some resentment on my part because I'm very defensive I'm very independent and I think I go into that

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mode as a coping mechanism and so I'm happy that at least I can feel but even

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like follow-up conversations I've still been nervous to bring it up and yeah it's not easy it's not easy and I'm so

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grateful that his he's so the opposite of me and his responses are just like yeah it makes sense logically I'm like

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okay what about emotionally do what about how much you love me do they have emotional

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Parts I really like we I don't we'll have to get into that another time but

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I'm like able to I think talk about it more and be more open about it and like

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have some security I think it's just the a little bit of a security blanket on our overall relationship for me that I

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feel like okay he said obvious l or like he said can you do it tomorrow and I'm like no there's a whole process that

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that was literally his response when I first brought it up he's like well why don't we just do it tomorrow there's a few things that have

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to happen first some steps we have to take but the excitement and the shared

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like confirmation of yes you're going to be a great mom oh good like I don't see

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that with someone else or you know I don't see this relationship not working out like a sneaky way of getting some of

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those confirmations that I wanted validation for sure doing it alone I could totally do and I'd be happy to you

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know we're you we're so much like um but I'm excited to have it turn out really

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differently than I thought it was going to be for me and not have it be from I think we were talking about this on the first time I was on like from a place of

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defensiveness from a place of scarcity from a place of I'll be fine if I'm alone forever and I'll still get to be a

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mom like I think that's always the it changes the entire experience it changes the entire experience like that you

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don't have to feel that way that you can feel in this together with him because it's such a daunting experience in a lot

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of ways like it's totally manageable but it's a lot like it's a lot of money it's a lot on your body it's a lot on your

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life in terms of just figuring out like Logistics and like planning clients or like the trans trying to figure out the

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transfer day like what do I do with my clients and so I'm like please don't be on a Thursday cuz I keep having to take Thursday offs and I'm sorry to my

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Thursday clients for these stupid weddings and things where I'm like like I'm sorry I have to move you again but

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I'm like please be on on like a Friday I don't have sessions that day yeah please they're like we can't can we have all

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the control the doctor was like um I can give you a range and I was like just not a Thursday baby eggs come on guys um but

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again all those ways it's like it can be over and totally manageable of course but yeah to not have that extra layer of

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I'm doing this because I don't know where my partner's at right it's a whole other experience or I'm doing this

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because I'm not with a partner right and I don't know if I'm going to find someone and like I think I really think

27:36

that was the only path that I pictured it being when I thought oh I'm going to freeze my eggs someday and now it's a

27:43

completely different path but I'm still really happy with it and I'm thinking

27:49

about it more as like the second or third or just safety net or I don't know and I know there's no safety but at

27:55

least speaking of control I'll have felt like I had done everything I could at

28:01

that point but that's what it is that's what the decision is too and for me it was like I don't want to regret not doing this and I want to know that I did

28:07

everything that I could to ensure you know the option for for motherhood so I think it's an amazing Choice obviously

28:14

have created a whole podcast around these narratives and topics and just encouraging women to explore the choice

28:19

and know you know know about your fertility a little bit more yeah just having the initial consultation gave me

28:26

so much ease and like there's like a calculator that they gave me and it's like between 35 and 33 it doesn't really

28:33

change that much and like it's like okay well if I needed to wait I could and I could still do this in a few years and

28:39

it would totally be the same thing so and maybe you do it now and decide you want to do it again again exactly and I

28:45

think sort of the just what you're saying about the space like part of the insurance policy being that like I can

28:51

feel reassure that I have made this choice and I have this option hopefully if everything goes well and then you can

28:56

move on with your life and just kind of live your life until you're ready to like be a mom and not have that like

29:02

thought because it can get so heavy of like when am I going to have a kid am I going to be a mom and just making this

29:08

choice for yourself so you don't have to live in that space is huge like Summer's going to be so

29:13

fun I won't have to be worried if I pushed it off to September and then

29:19

another thing pops up and another thing pops up and I'm like oh that's going to be terrible timing but I'm yeah

29:24

obviously we're very very similar like once once I get an idea on something like it has to happen now like so I

29:30

would be like if someone was like now or September I'd be like right now we're just doing it and that's they were like

29:36

helpful in that way because they were like let's just put the appointment on for end of March and then if you need to

29:41

move it we can move it like so where exact so where are you at now so you're going to start end of March end of March

29:46

so I started taking you're supposed to take like prenatals and vitamin D and this other vitamin that I don't know

29:52

what it is but they they told me to take I love they told you vitamins that's yeah so I have like I'm like $70 Amazon

29:59

order I'm like another thing great perfect but like added to the test I think it help yeah they're like we think it helps and I'm like okay well if I'm

30:05

paying for this I'm gon to be at the best chance do all of the things so I started taking them they say as soon as

30:12

possible I started taking them this week which you know kind of made me laugh this morning I was like okay I'm gonna

30:17

take my vitamins and go talk about my fertility with Beth um and then my

30:22

appointments at the end of March and that's when I would start injections I'm gonna share organically the way that I

30:30

typically do on social media and like put it in my day in my life like if I'm inting myself it'll be a part of that

30:36

day just to like continue to expose people to talking about it and being like this is a normal thing this is fine

30:44

to do you're going to be good like the only things I can't really do were like my yoga which is sad but I'll survive

30:50

for a few weeks yeah yeah well you get you get out you're good about getting out you do your walk I'll go on my walks

30:55

it'll hopefully be sunny like it is today in New York like I'm going to just kind of start that process and then I

31:01

guess it'll be in the middle of April and we don't have too much going on in April that I don't mind just laying low

31:07

for a little bit and taking really good care of myself it's a good excuse to do that and rest and just focus on whatever

31:14

is best for my body and then I'll do the thing and I'm not that scared of like

31:20

procedures and like doctors needles you're okay with needles I think I'm okay with all of that stuff I mean we'll find out but will Mike do the needle

31:26

will you have him do the I might I might yeah he I was like I might need help with this and I think that's another

31:32

thing that was like okay like if he's willing to help me like inject myself I guess I got the best advice from a

31:38

therapist yeah goig figure um she i i i my experience was

31:46

different with Rob where I was there was a lot of resentment and anger and I was like I'm doing this on my own I'm on my own in this and so I hate needles I was

31:53

like I can do this I going do this all by myself and my therapist is like maybe you should have him involved and I'm

31:59

like no and like H she's right I had he did he was incredible he did every shot

32:04

you have to mix some things like it took all of that stress off of me and he was so I would say let Mike help with that

32:12

it was kind of a nice bonding thing for us too oh I like that a lot like I like

32:18

creating opportunities for continued closeness andol I think that would be yeah it was that for us so I was glad

32:24

that I took that advice I got listen to your therapist people and I got to watch the video on how to do the medication

32:30

because I'm like oh I don't know how to do it I don't want to yeah Rob did all of that for me so maybe that could be

32:35

Mike job Mike's job yeah he needs more jobs Mike I just signed you up for a brand new job he's gonna be like what

32:42

did you do this morning well you know I'm always here for you so as you're going through it before it after

32:47

whatever you need I'm here I've done it I've lived it I'm so proud of you for I'm so proud of you period for all that

32:53

you're doing in your life it's so amazing um anything you want to say before we wrap up like to anyone that

33:00

might be thinking about this anyone that's in a relationship with somebody like stressing about bringing up to

33:06

their partner it's not that bad do it it's hard but I think having even just

33:12

the initial consultation you don't have to involve your partner in that if you don't feel comfortable but maybe just going and seeing where you're at what

33:19

your numbers are if you want to wait a few years if you don't like that just gives you more options and a little bit

33:25

more clarity and having that information I think is so so helpful because it doesn't come up in regular Gynecology

33:32

like appointments like I've a lot of people it doesn't I've always been told oh well once you start trying you'll

33:38

figure it out like once I start trying you'll tell me if I'm infertile or not horrible is that I was like I what if I

33:43

can't start trying for years like well I am learning and I'm going to share this on the podcast about where I'm currently

33:49

at but I am learning so much after the fact like after having like lost and all

33:56

these things like things that should have been done before and I didn't have that information and no one was giving me that information I

34:03

am so much I armed with so much more information that I'm going to talk about here I'm going to share here because there's so much more you can do ask push

34:10

for get test for before you you know journey into IVF but yeah I think the

34:15

the information is so important and it's unfortunate that we have to go out and

34:20

find it ourselves I think now there's more conversations there's platforms where people are sharing so that's been

34:26

amazing but yeah there's so much we don't know and you rather know it before you're like in the midst of it and the

34:34

last thing I'll say just right back at you is like how proud I am of you because when we worked together a while

34:39

ago I feel like we were starting this whole separate social media journey and now we're all like on our own paths with

34:46

social media and it's like working so much better because we just leaned into the things that we wanted to lean into but you were always so hesitant about

34:53

sharing personal information about yourself oh my God totally can you believe I'm sitting here doing this every time I see something where you're

34:59

like sharing I'm like the biggest fan of it because I know how hard it has been for you I think to transfer out of the

35:06

blank slate therapist like not wanting our clients to know too much about us

35:11

and like not wanting to be too much or too vulnerable or whatever was holding you back now you're sharing so much I

35:17

genuinely think it's helping so many people I hope so it's helped inspire me to do that like you are well you're are

35:23

my inspiration in many ways but and I tell everybody that I could ever get my you know get their ears I tell everybody

35:29

about Beth but when I hear you saying that you're going to continue to share really really hard things and like

35:35

struggles that you've been through I know that it's helping other people because it helps me so thank you that mean I mean that's everything that's the

35:41

only reason I'm doing this and I think that thank you and I appreciate you saying that and not just a as a therapist as a person I'm not much of a

35:47

sharer maybe that's why I became a therapist because I could you know I'm a listener but I appreciate you saying

35:54

that so much because it just this is the reason I'm doing it because it is so important for me to safeguard other

36:01

women from some of the experiences that I have had and it's the only reason I'm sharing because I'm not a sharer so I

36:07

appreciate you saying that it's worth going out of your comfort zone it totally is even if it's helping one

36:12

person like I'm I'm down to do it I'm so happy okay perfect that's a great way to

36:18

end if you like the episodes that you're hearing and you want to hear more please subscribe to our Channel and stay tuned

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for more incredible stories and tools when I froze my ex at 37 I felt alone I

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felt unsure I felt confused and uncertain and when you're considering

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such a big decision feeling those ways do not feel good so we have created a

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really thoughtful and how we put it together I think it's a great guide I think it's really comprehensive and

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covers a lot of the things to be thinking about to be considering and maybe some things you didn't even realize you should be thinking about or

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considering um the goal is to not let have anyone feel alone in this journey

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so if you again if you're thinking about this decision sign up through our website quith clock.com and make sure to

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