Challenges of Partnership and Friendship

Are you feeling the pressure of the biological clock? Do you feel like you’re running out of time to have children?

If so, then you’ll want to listen to the latest episode of “Quiet the Clock” where I sit down with my close friend Quinn to discuss her journey with egg freezing.

Quinn is someone who has gone through the process of egg freezing multiple times and she shares her emotional complexities of doing it at multiple phases of her life, first, single which she shared allowed her to take the pressure off dating. Then twice in her relationship, without certainty  of the direction of the relationship then one last time engaged and planning a wedding. Quinn talks about the complexities and range of different emotions of going through this process at such different stages.

We also discuss the financial considerations and the pressure women feel to have children before a certain age.

Quinn shares her experience with egg freezing and the control she felt over her fertility. She explains that she first learned about it from her gynecologist who had just attended a lecture by a doctor at a clinic in her town. Quinn decided to take the step and freeze her eggs, feeling like a trailblazer even though the procedure had been around for a while. While Quinn felt like there were components to the relationship and her road to motherhood that were uncertain or not totally within her control, she felt that freezing her eggs was and she wanted to do everything she could to ensure her chances of motherhood.

We also touch on the emotional toll of the process and the importance of seeking support from a psychologist. We share personal anecdotes about our own journeys and the uncertainties and breaking points we faced. The episode aims to provide a safe space for women to share their experiences and find support in navigating the complexities of fertility and motherhood.

Quinn encourages women to consider egg freezing as a form of insurance and to do it early if having a child is important to them. So, if you’re interested in learning more about egg freezing and how you may be able to take more control of your motherhood journey, tune in to the latest episode of “Quiet the Clock.”

Quotes:

• “I like the concept of insurance…just freeze your eggs…think of it as something that you can have if needed.”

• “you’ve gotta do what makes you feel better.”

• “it is like a disability for women in a sense that’s not funded like you know the fact that insurance doesn’t cover it is pathetic um because it’s aging and aging is our like fertility disability”

Key Points

• Quinn’s first egg freezing experience [00:02:48] Quinn shares her experience of freezing her eggs for the first time when she was 34 years old and single. She talks about the pressure she felt to have children before a certain age and how freezing her eggs helped her separate dating from the pressure of having children.

• Financial considerations of egg freezing [00:04:00] Beth and Quinn discuss the financial cost of egg freezing and how it can be a big consideration for women who are considering the process. Quinn shares how her mother paid for her first round of egg freezing and how it helped take some of the emotional burden off of her.

• Emotional complexities of egg freezing [00:07:42] Beth and Quinn discuss the emotional complexities of egg freezing, particularly for women who are single versus those who are in a relationship. Quinn shares how she felt depressed, pathetic, and embarrassed about freezing her eggs while being single.

• Egg Freezing Consultation [00:07:58] Quinn talks about how she learned about egg freezing and her consultation with a doctor who framed it as a “fertility disability” for women.

• Financial Considerations [00:08:47] Beth and Quinn discuss the lack of insurance coverage for egg freezing and how it is becoming more common as a benefit in tech companies.

• Second Round of Egg Freezing [00:09:16] Quinn discusses her decision to freeze her eggs again at age 40 while in a relationship and the emotional complexities of keeping the process separate from her relationship.

• Control and Body Guilt [00:15:03] Quinn talks about how egg freezing gave her a sense of control over her fertility and how she felt guilty about putting her body through the process.

• Uncertainty and Psychic Reading [00:17:32] Quinn discusses her anxiety about the future and the unknowns of her relationship, including considering having a child on her own. She also shares her experience with a psychic reading that gave her hope and validation.

• Embarrassment and Shame [00:20:41] Quinn shares her embarrassment about going to the fertility clinic without a partner and how she would wear a ring on her engagement finger to avoid feeling like a “leper.” She also talks about feeling judged by couples at the clinic.

• The clock is ticking [00:22:31] Beth and Quinn discuss the pressure women feel to have children before a certain age and the emotional complexities of egg freezing.

• Creating embryos with a partner [00:24:20] Quinn talks about the emotional experience of creating embryos with her partner after going through the process of egg freezing multiple times alone.

• Perfectionism and shame [00:29:28] Quinn and Beth discuss the role of perfectionism and shame in the process of egg freezing and the importance of being open and vulnerable about it.

• The Importance of Support [00:30:18] Beth and Quinn discuss the importance of having a support system during the egg freezing process and how it helped them get through the difficult days.

• The Emotional Toll of Egg Freezing [00:31:08] Beth and Quinn talk about how the process of egg freezing can take an emotional toll on women and how it can affect other aspects of their lives.

• Advice for Women Considering Egg Freezing [00:32:51] Quinn encourages women to consider egg freezing as a form of insurance and to do it early if having a child is important to them.