Debunking Myths and Empowering Women

I just think from what I see clinically I would probably say half the women dealing with unexplained infertility

0:05

have like an endometrial lining infection and that's why they're not getting pregnant at home but yet then they get rushed to IVF then the ivfs

0:12

don't work right do you know what I mean it's like why aren't we ruling all this out I mean I don't understand

0:22

[Music]

0:31

my doctor was willing to treat me is willing to treat me as a multiple miscarriage patient even though I've

0:37

heard which is also frustrating that so I guess that means all these other additional tests and blood work and um

0:44

the the uterine lining check biopsy um but usually it's she's like

0:50

you're not a multiple miscarriage patient but we'll do all of that and my frustration is like why aren't we doing

0:56

all this stuff before before I think every single woman who has been having

Comprehensive Testing

1:02

challenges like just the way you go to the fertility clinic and they do the hsg right away I actually think every sing

1:08

and the saing Sono is not enough is what one thing I've learned in all my years of doing it a sailing son a sonogram

1:15

will miss things so I think and I understand it's a big procedure and I understand you go under anesthesia but I

1:21

think every it should be standard that every woman get a hysteroscopy and uterine function testing would you recommend that before

1:28

even doing a transfer because how I would think you know again like I'm guesstimating I don't have clinical

1:35

trials on this but like I just think from what I see clinically I would probably say half the women dealing with

1:40

unexplained infertility have like an endometrial aligning infection and that's why they're not getting pregnant at home but yet then they get rushed to

1:47

IVF then the ivfs don't work right do you know what I mean it's like why aren't we ruling all this out I mean I

1:54

don't understand I have women who are with the best fertility clinics in the United States and have done 10

2:00

retrievals and nine transfers and have had multiple losses and no one has

2:06

looked at endometrial lining like endometritis maybe they've done hysteroscopies but they're misdiagnosing

2:13

because then she goes to another doctor and they're like you have adenomiosis and you need depol Lupron suppression

2:19

for three months before any transfer like your uterus is so inflamed and you're like you want to scream because

2:26

you're like well now she's six figures in the hole she's wasted five embryos that are all PGT tested the amount of

2:34

stress on this family oh and and you're one of the best doctors in the United States you know this is where I get

2:40

heated like do your job do your job why why is that happening I I also met with so we were sharing off

2:47

offline that one of the things that I found out through and my doctor was willing to do some more tests even though I've only had one miscarriage and

2:53

we found out you know that I have extremely high antibodies Min are 95 and my understanding the range is like 25 to

3:00

60 and so yeah the thyroid antibody and I went

3:06

and I on my own accord like my doctor didn't even recommend this and and I love my doctor very much she's she's one

3:11

of the ones that I feel like really listens and will sit and answer my questions but she kind of gave me the answer of like don't worry about it and

3:18

I'm like well this is just not something is not going right in my body how can I not worry about this so on my own I S

3:25

sought out an appointment with a reproductive immunologist who told me the same thing he said don't don't worry

3:30

about it I'm like that is not a good enough answer and he said come back to me if you have another miscarriage I'm

3:35

like I don't want to have another miscarriage why is that the answer maybe

Autoimmunity and Miscarriage

3:41

you don't want to say on this um you'll tell me later uh yeah I think when we find

3:48

autoimmunity so you found the Hashimoto um then it's really like

3:55

knowing anything about autoimmune diseases you as a medical professional should know that typically when there's

4:01

one autoimmune there's probably three there's probably two more low Ling we

4:07

tend to see um High ovarian antibodies with women with Hashimoto also

4:12

endometriosis and Hashimoto kind of go hand inand um and sometimes there's like a

4:18

high Ana or there's rheumatoid factors or the lupus anti-coagulant right so

4:23

there's there's other things that are lurking and I always think the Hashimoto or the the thyroid antibodies is like

4:30

our clue um years ago when I wrote I wrote yes you can get pregnant 10 years ago at this point it's about to be it's

4:36

10 year anniversary which thank you so much for reading it it sells better every year which is amazing and I

4:41

appreciate everybody who who reads it and um but when I wrote that book you'll

4:48

see in the back I interviewed Dr Hugh Taylor he's still the head of I think he's still the head of Reproductive

4:53

Medicine at Yale um and this is it's got to be 11 years ago because the book came

4:59

out I had to write the book a year before it came out uh I interviewed him and I had been looking through all the research and I you know and I had come

5:04

to my own conclusions just as a clinician but I said to him um what do you think about Hashimoto or Celiac or

5:13

some kind of underlying autoimmune condition that's actually at the root of unexplained infertility I said because I

5:20

can see in the data like Endo is an inflammatory condition PCOS has autoimmune characteristics obviously

5:26

Hashimoto is autoimmune Celiac is you know an autoimmune I think they I mean it's

5:31

an allergic response but I think it's in the autoimmune category I could be wrong but um he said to me uh because he's he

5:39

was I mean obviously he's still probably like 15 years older than me and he goes young lady you're on to something he

5:45

said right here in our Clinic we're actually starting to screen every single and this is 10 years ago guys 11 years

5:51

ago we're screening everyone for Hashimoto and for Celia because we see a high incidence with infertility and

5:59

these two disease States and so and you can you can you guys can all go on nlm

6:05

National Library of Medicine and do your own research you just literally the search box is right there it's very easy it's hard to read um scientific articles

6:13

I think but now with chatbot or whatever it's called the AI put in there and translate yeah too long don't don't read

6:20

it'll it'll like spit it out for you um but there are high correlation so so for

6:25

someone to dismiss it it's it's it what it tells me is they just haven't read enough of the research um doesn't make

6:32

them a bad person or a bad doctor it just but it's it puts a lot of the onus on you which is sucks because it's

6:39

already hard enough it's already hard enough you're already overwhelmed you're already devastated you know you're

6:45

already grieving like but I do think you know in all of that um you know it's

6:52

like it makes me like want to cry it's like you guys are so Fierce and you're Warriors and you're so tenacious that

6:58

you you get empowered by by researching this and learning more right do you know what I mean and then you going to teach

7:04

this doctor hopefully because you're probably not going to be the first one that then they're going to start to pay

7:09

attention and she's going to start to say ha when I see Hashi I'm gonna think when I see Hashi and I see miscarriage

7:16

I'm going to start to think about this a little bit differently right that's what we want that's where change

7:22

happens um you know it it's unfortunate that not everyone is reading the same literature and not everyone's like on

7:29

the same page page about this but if there's autoimmunity going on it's like that's That's the basis of the fertility

7:35

challenge 100% and that's what you know and I just had a girl again I think she's been at the seven years her

7:40

husband's a doctor oh my gosh so they're at the best you know clinic in New York

7:46

City and I'm I'm doing air quotes for those of you that can't see me um and no

7:52

one has done autoimmune testin on her she comes to me she got a pay out of pocket to work with me do you know what

7:58

I mean it's ridiculous actually like I love my job I just I just don't understand it like ever all the research

Frustrations with Medical Field

8:03

I've been doing and I started to see this when I started working with my acupuncturist back in November beginning of November it just feels like there's

8:10

these two different camps not having the same conversation or or collaborating and it's just really frustrating because

8:17

it does like you said it puts the onus on the woman to like self- Advocate and do the research when you're already

8:22

going through a very trying overwhelming and and hard experience and I hope we're moving in a direction where like there's

8:29

like these camps are coming together and starting to speak the same language but my sense is that and I do really like my

8:35

doctor but it just it feels the medical field to me and my experience is that so

8:40

narrow-minded and they're so stuck in like their protocols and what's connected to science and this is the way

8:46

we do it and and not more of like the Eastern like holistic way of like let's

8:52

look at everything and I want to get to what you talk about in your books which is like our food our environment our

8:59

emotional state and there's all these other things that we can be doing and focusing on to help understand our

9:05

fertility or improve our fertility but I just it's not coming from doesn't feel like it's coming from our fertility

9:11

doctors no and then even worse not all of them are like this but there's a

9:17

large majority of them that are mad at people like me and saying that I'm you

9:22

know spreading misinformation and I'm further overwhelming and you know you

9:29

know I mean I I always I do this a lot in my Instagram post because I just people it generates a lot of interest

9:35

but like and I think I just did one the other day and it's like there are doctors out there who literally don't

9:41

believe in recurrent pregnancy loss like legitimately don't believe it's a thing

9:47

they don't believe reproductive Immunology is a thing they don't believe endometriosis is it maybe it's causing

9:54

your inability to get pregnant so let's just do IVF because that'll solve for it which is bogus because it maybe that

10:01

sells for it in like I don't know 15 to 20% of the cases but most of the time it does

10:06

not yeah and so there's what but I think what what these you know the the people

10:13

the naysayers will say because I don't even want to say it's all doctors there's others out there too that aren't medical doctors that that that are

10:19

naysayers about stuff like this they dig their heels in because they say show me a randomized control trial like an RCT I

10:26

need to see actual gold standard data that shows me that recurrent pregnancy

10:32

loss is actually a thing that reproductive immunology and there's good data out there but because things like I

10:40

think reproductive Immunology um the autoimmune link if you will um recurrent

10:45

pregnancy loss you have to also remember that okay if if infertility is impacting

10:51

now I think it's one in six women right recurrent pregnancy loss and and

10:56

Immunology factors are impacting I think it's about 10% of that one in six so you

11:03

do the math it's it's it's not it's it's a lot of women of course and and no one deserves to suffer I'm not saying that

11:09

by any means um and it feels like it's every woman I see but um it's just

11:14

because I get these really challenging cases because no one can seem to solve them if you will um but it's it's a

11:20

small subset and so what these clinics are doing I'd say 70% of the time what

11:26

they do their standard protocol works right within three to four ivfs it works

11:31

so why change it why am I gonna rock the boat why am I going to look deeper and and then instead it's just going to the

11:37

blame just goes to EG quality and and the uterine function testing are is kind of out the window things like like

11:43

adenomiosis you'll even hear doctors say like oh there's other there's other places in the uterus that can implant

11:49

and you're like but don't you understand the inflammatory response that that creates inside the uter environment it's

11:54

literally toxic nothing putant there it's literally like inflammatory cyto

12:00

kindes that are released from the adenomiosis is creating this very toxic environment and then there's doctors who

12:07

like well you know I had my natural killer cells tested they'll be like oh that's like like that's black magic you

12:12

know what I mean it's like like I had one doctor say to my patient if you believe in reproductive um Immunology I

12:19

have some magic beans I can sell you a Le I got poo pooed on that too cuz

12:26

my and it's like okay like I feel like even if you don't believe in it like as

12:31

a medical professional who is in a field that requires I think a lot of compassion

12:39

um if you don't believe in it and and say someone like you you just came back with Hashi you've had implantation

12:45

failure which I hate that word you know that but you've had you've had failed implantation you've had a

12:51

miscarriage what your doctor should say to you is like yeah I don't think there's as much data there as I'd like

12:58

to see but if you want to explore it there are a couple practitioners or or

13:03

you know colleagues of mine that I do respect and so why don't you go see Dr

13:09

so and so you know what I mean or or let's work with an endocrinologist that maybe would think about the link between

13:16

the autoimmunity and the fertility or let's send you to a hematologist and let them do the blood work and then let them

13:21

treat that you know just because it's not my area of expertise it's not something that I am that's what I would

13:27

love that's what I would love someone to say I love that transparency and honesty and I think in instead of saying that

13:32

doctors are saying don't worry about it or there's no there's no link to that um

13:38

and I just feel for women that go through this I don't know is not a good

13:43

answer anymore because there are reasons that this is happening and that's why I love your content your books I think

13:50

they're so informative and I read them and back toback like so quickly because

13:56

it was just so much to take in and so much to learn and I was so grateful for all the information but I was so

14:01

frustrated because I'm like I'm learning this after these two horrible experiences and and I wrote that one

14:08

book 11 years ago that's the other piece that like blows my mind I would have hoped by now we'd be better do you know

14:14

I yeah I don't understand I don't I think maybe it was the other book I read um the egg no it starts with the egg I

14:20

think it was in that book they had said how yeah they're like 10 years behind in like some good researcher data being you

14:28

know discovered and then 10 years until that's what happens it takes about it's about a 10e cycle so like even when I

14:34

first wrote my very first book which was in 20110 chill out and get healthy um I

14:39

talked about epigenetics right and I was literally like laughed at like as if I

14:45

made it up I'm like guys God there's like I and I was at this institution

14:51

like UCSD out in California was mapping the genome like I was there during that

14:56

time I remember it clear as day scrips Institute and and that's when they were

15:02

like they all thought oh we're going to map The genome we're going to know every single disease we're going to Bol for everything we're going to have the genetic link there's gonna blah blah

15:08

blah we're going to create these vaccines none of it came true because all of a sudden they realized oh my gosh

15:15

it's the epig genome it's actually the genes are turning on or off depending on your lifestyle right Chinese

15:21

medicine years but that that was only in

15:26

2010 now everyone talks about it right everybody everywhere you go every every

15:31

practitioner you see someone's going to talk to you about MTHFR someone's going to talk to you about your epigenetics someone's going talk to you about your lifestyle and how it impacts things

15:38

regenerative medicine the whole branch of it is all focused on that now but again that that's that's what 14 years

15:44

ago you know what I mean it's kind of fascinating so I do think we'll eventually get there and I do think

15:50

eventually we'll be able to say like these are the women who are probably going to have struggles um or we're

15:55

going to get ahead of it or maybe we'll be able to find some genetic links which I I think there already are some genetic links we're finding um it's still though

Reproductive Immunology

16:04

not ever going to just be in your genes because it's really about the impacts the environment has had on you and your

16:10

lifestyle has had on you um but yeah so anyway to the point of like I think reproductive Immunology like listen back

16:17

when I was practicing you know when I wrote yes you can get pregnant um there were like two docs I knew that we're

16:23

actually practicing now now we have like I don't know maybe 20 in the US that are actually really good and in practicing

16:29

and we can get women to them um we can get doctors to prescribe baby aspirin or

16:35

Lenox if there's boltim miscarriages we we have Cloud Factor panels doctors will do those now um they're seeing the

16:41

correlation between TSH and success with pregnancy or implantation we're seeing

16:46

the correlations with vitamin D right so so we're starting to see it but like there was a research paper last January showing amh and Fs actually are not

16:54

predictors of fertility Ops it came out last year no way still have not changed

17:00

their tune whatsoever now the numbers were like if it's super low amh or super high FSH or

17:06

you're not kind of included in this study but what they basically showed was women with lower amh for their age or

17:13

higher FSH for their age within a three-year period had the same amount of

17:19

you know pregnancy outcomes meaning they whether they did IVF or not they wound up with their children wow wow amh and

17:27

FSH impact fertility outcomes though if you're doing IVF because it's a numbers game right so and that's where obviously

17:34

if you have low or high you know low amh or high FSH you're not going to do well

17:40

at a standard Clinic that just has a standardized protocol for a woman that's 35 with an amh of 1.5 you just you're

17:46

going to not do well you need to find I feel like it's so yeah like it's so on

17:51

the numbers robotic of like they go they go to their their annual meetings and they talk about like ftim 350 is what it

17:59

is for the women and and no one's individualizing care and and also I think even more I shouldn't say no one I

18:06

think I think they try um but you know I just did a consult with a woman she's 39

18:11

she's in the New York City metropolitan area so you would think she's at at a good Clinic um she's had six

18:18

transfers one pregnancy but ended in a miscarriage she's making genetically

18:25

normals no nothing and she she's I mean she's like almost H you

18:31

know she's severely depressed she has of course of course how could you how could you how could you not be she's just I

18:38

mean she was like a shell of herself on our convers it was devastating to to see what this has done to her and and all of

18:44

you guys it's so hard that part like I you know I'm such a an empath it's so hard

18:50

but no one no one has done a hysteroscopy on this girl no one no one

18:56

has looked at her uterine environment not a single doctor she's SP I just really don't understand and and you know

19:04

it's unfortunate I feel very grateful that I I don't know that I I have the

19:10

wherewithal or to not go right back at it and and maybe because I've been doing

19:15

this podcast or you know I've had these type of conversations I like I just

19:20

couldn't imagine going back at it in the same way or just tweaking some medications and just expecting a

19:26

different outcome and I think that's what's so hard about there is no individualized care I think I've spoken

19:31

to so many women particularly through their egg freezing experience that feel like they're on a can beyor Bell I know for my first transfer I never spoke to a

19:38

doctor or saw a doctor until the day of my transfer I had lots of questions that went unanswered and I just feel like and

19:44

my acupuncturist was the one that spoke to me the most like I got to sit with her and spend 30 minutes before we even did our our session and I think that's

19:51

really what's what's lacking is just sort of this you know Human Experience and and conversations and feeling like

19:57

there's space and time to have your questions answered I think there's sometimes um mismanaged expectations I

20:05

think before going to my two transfers I was just like great we have normal embryos they're tested like yeah it'll

20:12

work like a sure thing right yeah yeah and that's that's certainly not the case

20:17

no well that's it too like IVF isn't a guarantee and I would even say um egg

20:23

donor isn't a guarantee surrogacy isn't a guarantee you know it there's there's layers to all of this that um and I'm

20:31

not opposed to any of it of course you know I support my girls any which way they want to bring home baby and I think

20:36

they're all beautiful ways um but I've seen uh challenges with all the ways you

20:43

know and it does feel like this sense of like oh you know you're 35 you're not getting pregnant or you've had one

20:48

miscarriage at home yeah let's just do IVF and you know and so you kind of just think like oh boom boom boom you know I

The frustration with fertility treatment

20:53

just got to go through this retrieval once da and then all of a sudden three years later you're still on the free freaking hamster wheel and they're like

20:59

wait a second and now you're you know 60 Grand in the hole and um you got no

21:05

answers and so yeah I mean I love my job and I feel like I wish there were more

21:10

out there doing this detective work it tends to be the um non-mds who are in

21:17

health care that you know maybe we have more time I don't know like I have doctor friends I do think I have a little bit more free time um I have a

21:25

deep passion for the understanding of it all and I would I would assume that reproductive endocrinologists feel the

21:31

same way but it's also the system unfortunately and the way it's set up it's just there's they not enough time

21:37

like you said they don't have enough time to sit and have that conversation that would reveal you know I think that's like my conversations reveal

21:43

things to me like it becomes very obvious yes yes but if you don't take that time you're you're going to miss

21:50

that opportunity and then I mean half of our job I feel like like I was just looking at emails before I hopped on here it's

21:56

like one of our girls is about to do IV she's already at our push discussed with the doctor we're going to we're not

22:02

doing the same thing again to get the same results we're going to try something different he says yes yes yes we're going to do low stim he sends her

22:09

protocol and it is the opposite of low stim it's it's actually the same exact protocol he did last time she sends us

22:15

the message she's like what do I do he's also the same guy that wouldn't TR test her for endometritis even though she's

22:21

had now I think three chemicals oh my God almost then he tests her comes back positive he says I'm

22:27

going to give you three days of antibiotics and I wrote back I said no you need at least attend to 14 day like

22:33

well he he can test that I have to get her research to then send him he then agrees stop

22:39

it why why is that the case I have I have a friend of mine like even when we're advocating for

22:45

ourselves we have to like push back like I have a friend of mine who just had a six uh IUI not work and she wants

22:53

another saling sonogram and her her practitioner is saying no

23:00

yeah push after six I would push for the hysteroscopy but what they're going to

23:06

say and and we all know it it's like it's your egg quality even if she's 34

23:11

you know it's your egg quality unfortunately um and you're just going to have to do IVF and then they're still

23:16

not going to check the uterine cavity for that first IVF they're not going to check the uterine cavity until you've had three failed transfers of PGT

23:24

normals just like they're not going to do a clotting Factor pen I feel like then you're I feel like then you're so

23:30

disconnected from The Human Experience because going through one miscarriage or one failed transfer alone is enough like

23:37

the time it takes you to pick yourself back up from that and you're never the same so like I that just like

23:44

infuriating to me it's so so infuriating to me I want toly selfishly I want to selfishly ask

23:51

because maybe someone else out here has high antibodies and then I want to get into sort of De debunking this idea that

23:57

like 35 is the cliff does does high antibodies thyroid antibodies always

24:02

indicate Hashimoto's and yeah yes so what is if someone else is listening

24:08

that has the same um issue what does someone with Hashimoto do about that to

24:15

help their you you know my book body belief is all about Hashim basically um but all about I have to get another but

Understanding autoimmune conditions

24:22

you you're getting it through the others I'm just saying it out loud um because I wrote a whole book of about it but

24:30

um hashimotos or any autoimmune you know is telling us there's autoimmune

24:36

activity going on in the body Hashimoto in particular is your you're creating thyroid antibodies right and you're

24:41

attacking your your thyroid gland to the point where eventually it will stop working on its own um right now you

24:48

might still be in range your TSH and free T3 and freet T4 might totally be in range so no one's going to do anything

24:53

Western medicine nothing to do you just have these antibodies not a big deal because your thyroids just perfectly

24:59

fine eventually though your thyroid will get attacked and then you will depend upon these medicines to function because

25:05

your thyroid is the master of everything um on the other side the more like I would even just say functional

25:12

medicine side because there's plenty of MDS out there who really see the correlation and will treat Hashimoto

25:17

before it attacks the thyroid to the point where it can't function um so autoimmunity tells us I guess a couple

25:24

things right that um there's I would say gut disbiosis we need to look at the overall gut

25:30

health and the microbiome there's inflammation going on in the body so there's like an inflammatory Cascade

25:36

that's happening as a result of the antibody load um and one thing I was

25:43

taught you know years ago kind of studying Hashimoto's deeper um is

25:49

treating gluten Darian soy like an allergy because they're all the the

25:54

proteins of each of them are all very oddly similar to the the thy certain

26:00

thyroid proteins and so anytime you consume it it triggers the autoimmune activation okay and so um and I but I

26:08

will say like I used to be really really really really really firm about that and

26:13

I still am as we're in the healing environment of that I do think and maybe

26:20

it's more my clinical experience but also just like looking at data over time I do think that if you really focus on

26:26

healing the gut and improving nutrient absor abortion and regulating the microbiome there probably is space for

26:32

those Foods again in your life but it it probably won't be for a few years if I'm really honest with you yeah and and in a

26:39

case of a woman trying to conceive with a history of loss I'm GNA say to you uhuh we ain't

26:46

touching it like I have girls all the time right they get pregnant they have Hashi they Bend off gluten dairy and soy

26:52

like the second email after uh the positive is then when can I have gluten

26:59

and I'm always like at least like we can reintroduce in the third trimester because I want the child to have some exposures and we're really selective

27:05

about how we reintroduce and what like kind of gluten Darian soy it is um but

27:11

yeah no we're not changing anything especially if there's a history of AOSS we not changing anything at least

27:17

trimester um and so but I guess what it means so the other thing too is like

27:23

once you have the antibodies you're never and I uh there might be people out

27:29

there that argue this but as far as I can tell you're never going to not have Hashimoto you're just going to get to a

27:34

point where you have lower or even undectable antibodies which is great um

27:39

and listen even with antibodies what you say 900 I've had girls in the 600s still be able to get and stay pregnant right

27:45

but maybe they were in the 2000s at one point and we got them down so it's really about the balance and bringing them down it's about looking at the

27:51

overall inflammatory symptoms I know you said you just did a GI map that's where I would probably go to um quality diet

27:59

like the Elimination Diet to me is the you know and again I did a lot of research on this and I talked to lots

28:04

and lots of you know GI docs and and endocrinologists and functional medicine docks the the best way to heal the gut

28:11

is through an Elimination Diet like it's just it's kind of the only way and it takes time you know you got to give it

28:17

at least you know egg quality dies 100 days that's really geared at improving egg quality um if I have someone with

28:23

Hashi it's going to be at least six months you know where we're going to um play around we do get to reintroduce we

28:29

do get to see but I'm not going to let you reintroduce gluten dairy or soy in those six months at

28:34

minimum um and hopefully in that time frame you know you have success and you get pregnant so I am no longer a coffee

28:40

drinker coffee is something I gave up in revamping my diet for my fertility

28:45

Health which is very hard to do but luckily I found something amazing to replace it with and that's my morning

28:51

MAA that I use cooly coly Moringa for it gives me that same ritualistic feeling

Debunking the fertility cliff at 35

28:58

of having something warm in my hands in the morning without the caffeine and I

29:03

have loved having that as a replacement for my coffee I love this product so much it is delicious and I honestly

29:10

don't miss my coffee so if you want an opportunity to check out coly coly moranga you can use our code QTC 25 for

29:18

25% off your first purchase this ties into like my next topic that I want to talk about is just sort of this Cliff at

29:25

35 the time and this is called quiet the clock for for many reasons it's these narratives that tell us like what's that

29:32

I love the name of your thank you so much yeah but it's all these narratives that create so much stress and panic

29:37

that we're like running at a time and when I started working with um Stephanie Adler as the woman I'm working with to

29:43

help me do all the nutrition changes environment changes and um I hear like

29:50

three months or I hear six months and all of a sudden my heart is like in my stomach because when you want this so

The emotional impact of time and fertility

29:56

bad like and I'm I imagine you see this with the women that you work with the time is really hard to wrap your head

30:04

around and I I know you talk quite a bit about sort of the emot the important of the emotional state and the trust and

30:09

belief in your body um but that emotional piece connected to the time or

30:15

feeling like you're running out of time is really consuming and we've had so many women come on here and believe the

30:22

narrative I I definitely want to talk about this that like 35 is the end all be all of your fertil so I'd love for

30:28

you to speak about that because I love how you talk about in the book it gives so much hope that that is not actually

30:33

true um I loved learning about how you call it affected by your lifestyle phase

30:39

like the 90 day 100 day window to kind of improve your a quality so I'd love to

30:44

speak to that because I think that narrative I know that Narrative of like 35 36 is creating so much turmoil among

30:53

women yeah and and I would also first like to say too of like when I say like that six Monon or that thre Monon window

31:01

you know at least how we approach it here at Team Amy is is our girls are

31:06

still trying that whole time um oh yeah we're trying kind of depends on the case right some girls need a break right some

31:12

girls need me to give them permission to not try for three months true yeah others want to know so if like say we're

31:19

doing a GAC protocol or something like that or or the gut healing protocol then we we'll just have a follicular phase

31:25

protocol and we have a ludal phase protocol and we have a pregnancy prot protol when you get pregnant right do you know what I mean so we're I always

31:31

try to meet everyone where they're at because I agree time you know time does

31:37

feel like it's slipping by so fast another thing I really like to drive home and I don't know if I think I

31:43

talk about this in the books but is um you know I'm encouraging more and more women to like just Google regenerative

31:50

medicine just Google it I'm not a fan of Dr Google but just Google it about it oh

31:55

my God Dr Google can yeah not be good place sometimes but when you start and I

32:01

used to do this with epigenetics I'd be like just read about epigenetics and then people be like oh that's so interesting so but the reason I do it is

32:09

because it's like when you start to understand what's out there you start to say oh I'm actually like yeah I'm losing

32:16

time chronologic wise but like biology and Physiology wise I'm actually gaining

32:23

time because now my cells are actually getting healthier so though I'm technically getting older I'm actually

32:31

improving quality and so it's like I always will just like plant the seed and

32:37

I'll say something like I want you to just like have that conversation with yourself like multiple times this week

32:42

of just like huh when I start to go down that like I'm losing time losing time conversation with myself could you then

32:49

also give yourself time to be like but is there potential that I'm like gaining time that I'm um I'm reversing or

32:58

minimum kind of like preventing you know the fast aging and I'm kind of getting

33:05

into more slow aging I I maybe that's I've never really said that term before but like maybe it's something like that that like I'm because reversing sounds

33:13

very promising and I I don't like to use it but like I'm improving overall cellular health and quality and like

33:19

also I as a practitioner with two decades of experience helping thousands of women I can hands down say I have had

33:26

women get chronologically older and make better quality eggs and embryos because we're seeing them with the testing or

33:31

we're seeing these healthy children we're seeing pregnancies right so I have seen women seven years older and then

33:37

they do it do you know what I mean so that's incredible like I think and I think like to to talk about the the

33:43

fertility Cliff you know they talk about first of all I mean I have so many issues with it but um everybody's Cliff

33:50

I suppose is different I would first say that I don't think 35 is just like the be all and all for every single woman we

33:56

deal with women all the time in their 40s um you know just like in 2023 I mean

34:02

our oldest that got pregnant with her own eggs was 48 you know and oh my gosh that's incredible see we need to hear

34:08

more stories like that and I I mean I that's why I have my stories of Hope but like 42 44 46 47 like that just kind of

34:15

happens like I feel like regularly like we see that it happens um and it could be in women that have an amh of 014 to a

34:23

woman that has a you know I have a 42y old and her amh is like a 1.2 do you know what I mean I mean it's like it's

34:28

Rockstar she's still not getting pregnant she's still having a hard time we have to figure out something else is going on um but so this this whole

34:36

fertile cliff thing I think that somewhere somewhere someone decided um

34:42

that I think that is when maybe we're shifting our decline begins towards we're getting closer to per menopause

34:48

than we are from menar which is when the period begins right so kind of this like Midway

34:54

Point um there's one research paper I have it linked out my link Tree on Instagram because I find it fascinating

35:01

um and it was a very large study I think several thousand eggs and embryos they

35:08

looked at um and what they found was so

35:15

women in there call it 30 to 35 it's something like 80% of their eggs are

35:21

still good and 20% of them are bad and then you go into like the 35 to 40 category and it kind of goes to like a

35:29

70 30 60 40 that 60% of eggs are still good um and I think if you want to earn

35:36

on the side of caution just just say that 60% of your eggs are good and you have 40 you maybe 50% of your eggs are

35:41

good 43 then you're going to go down to 40 right does that make sense and so yes

35:46

we're our ovarian reserve declines although

35:52

there's 80 research papers from the last 20 years that are actually questioning whether or not we're really running

35:57

running out of eggs there are ovarian stem cells that have been identified they've actually been made into embryos

36:03

in Labs um there's question around that because so and that's that's like a very

36:10

heated debate in the medical community because that rocks everybody's world because that means the dogma and it is a

36:16

Dogma it is not a fact the Dogma from which they were like raised on in the reproductive Endocrinology world that we

36:22

constantly are running out of eggs if that is challenged everything goes I mean but that's all we know and that's all we

36:28

heard is like you are losing eggs constantly so we also know and this is like this is clear this is fact this is

36:34

in studies people say it all the time now women in menopause still have about a thousand eggs left so we're not

36:40

running out and I want like everybody to really feel that you're not running out

36:46

I would even say if you were 42 or 38 and your amh was like a02 you probably

36:52

still have a few thousand eggs left right so it's about as Dr mie Who I work closely with it's about finding the good

36:59

one you know what I mean and I think Nature's good at that I think so it's about optimizing so it's like sure there

37:05

is this pressure TimeWise and I think I think there's also pressure TimeWise

37:10

because of the other narrative that we all came into this world with of like

37:16

this is how I want my life to look by the time I'm 35 right exactly exactly that's where the emotional work comes in

37:22

of like can we get into the trusting of the timing of our lives and can we you know I'm I'm very spiritual can we get

37:29

connected to the spirit of this child or these children that want to come through and actually kind of like respect their timeline instead of forcing our timeline

37:36

I love that I love that don't be the soccer mom that decides they have to become a professional soccer player

37:41

because you didn't become one do you I mean it's the same thing of like no you come in when I say to come in do you know what I mean it's like wait a second

37:47

these are little people that are choosing to come into this world don't I think they know when the right time is

37:52

to join this family too and so our job is right I think it's Oprah um or deepo

37:58

luck is when preparation and opportunity come together like basically like there is no such thing as luck you're you're

38:04

prepared to receive the opportunity that's kind of how I see it so that's what I see my work as like the work

38:09

you're doing we're preparing the body to receive when it's ready if you're making

38:14

normal embryos the body's ready there something else you know what I mean and so I believe too if I get spiritual

38:20

about it these little people that are still in the spirit realm are they're pushing you to figure out

38:27

what else is going on deeper so that you can be the mom they need you to be for the duration of their life well I did

38:33

I'll share with you I did do and I haven't share this here yet but I did do a spirit baby reading and it was just that that they

38:42

and and other people who you know are supporting me and I work with or yes so the spirit baby well there was two that

38:49

this woman saw just said they needed me to get stronger and cleaner and another

38:56

person put it to me like you know thank thank this baby or these babies that are

39:01

waking you up for to your health cuz before you know I thought I was healthy but there's I there's more going on my

39:07

body that I didn't realize and there were more ways that I could be taking care of myself that I wasn't and you

39:12

know a lot of the stuff that you talk about in your bug in terms of like environmental toxins like I revamped my whole kitchen I revamped a lot of my

39:18

products like I just was not awake to those those things and those changes and so while it's been so devastating and

39:26

heartbreaking I I did stay connected to that there's this bigger purpose here

Finding hope and purpose in fertility struggles

39:31

and in terms of like the time or how I've struggled with like the time to like make these changes i' I've just

39:38

become excited about the overall like knowledge I have about my health and these Health changes for myself for my

39:45

family for my future babies I feel like proud of that and so I think that's

39:50

another way or mindset to have that I want to offer to other women because it can be really hard and and it's a lot to

39:56

make these changes but for me staying connected to this overall picture that like I'm doing so much more for my body

40:02

and my health and my family's health it's been like tremendous well that's it too I mean if we do step back and really

40:08

think macro it's like you know I'd venture to say the

40:13

world is in a shaky place right now and um you know environmentally you know

40:18

politically like there's a lot of chaos and so I do believe too that um you know

40:26

the more kind of We Are are in our power as women when we head into motherhood

40:32

you know we're like the stabilizing force that will allow for shift back in you know and so it's like if you kind of

40:38

think of it like that and it's still like it's still devastating your time is still your time and your losses are

40:43

still your losses and so there still has to be room for grief and there has to be room for anger and there has to be room for frustration but there's also like

40:50

this greater understanding you know and I've also again been doing this a really long time that I have like the always

40:58

say I have the luxury of being optimistic because I really do see it

41:03

work out for everyone and and I've I've never ever had a woman not of course

41:11

like they still feel that pain and that loss and and and any you know I think any loss whether it's a failed

The pressure of age and fertility

41:17

implantation or a miscarriage or just loss of time is is it molds you and it shapes you but it I think it also is

41:23

helping you become who you're meant to be in this world but um also just never had a woman when they get to the other

41:29

side not say to me like now it all makes sense you know what I mean like oh my God I know I know it always does and

41:35

when we talk on this podcast about these narratives of time or running out of time whether that is fertility

41:41

motherhood partnership relationship job it's like you turn around and it it does

41:46

all work out and it works out in a way that you never imagined it works out in a way that you couldn't have even imagine it's better than you imagine

41:53

it's really this yeah it's you know and and part of my intention with this is because there was so much angst for me

41:59

like I met my partner later in life I got you know I didn't know where things were going with motherhood I froze at 37

42:05

got I got pregnant naturally at 39 had my son at 40 there was a lot of angst for me there

42:11

but then you get to the other side and you're like ah you know and so it's trying to like yeah save some of this

Challenging the notion of fertility decline

42:17

time in this angst and just being in trust that it all works out and makes sense in the end and and it does for me

42:23

it certainly has and I think too then there's other layers to it too of like like I I say this a lot too and maybe

42:30

it's something you guys can roll around in your in your mind of like just because you might be on the other side

42:37

of 35 or because you feel time ticking or someone told you your eggs are

42:43

running out or you're falling off this Cliff does that mean you're stopping does that mean you're you you've closed

42:48

the door to your dreams because this person has told you or like so just answer me that because if it is then

42:54

fine close the door we're done see you you know what I mean and and and everybody's like absolutely not no and I'm like so letting them like rule your

Innovations in fertility treatments

43:01

life you know what I mean like no you're still like for as long as you menstrate and ovulate at home you're

43:06

going to be trying for as long as if you want to go to the clinic like I mean I was at the clinic the other day I work out of a fertility clinic up here in

43:13

Westport and there was these women having a conversation one of them was not my client one was the one that was

43:18

not my client reveals I'm 53 53 like I

43:23

you know I'm going to be 50 soon which is insane to me but um I don't necessarily see myself wanting

43:30

to be a mother in my 50s although I don't judge that she wants that um but

43:35

anyway she's 53 and she has three embryos on Ice that they've just collected they did do ovarian PRP but

43:41

she she's still menstrating at 53 there's still eggs in there we're colleting we yeah do we we know that

43:47

quality is probably more compromised than if you were 33 because the older we get kind of just the more gummed up our

43:53

system gets but you know it also is like I don't know you know what I mean like I

43:59

don't know I but this is this is what's so amazing like I think these are the stories that need to be heard right I

44:05

think these are the stories that instill more hope because the stories that we've been told is 35 and it's over and that's

44:10

the stories that are causing so much angst and anxiety so it's exciting to 45 is where like H for me you know

44:19

and I have I was out out of 45-year-old on a call just before um you know she's

44:25

healthier than like half my 35y olds I would say too you know and she looks like she's 33 um but I would say 45 is

44:32

where I kind of been like okay we got to like you know get get serious we gotta like tidy up the ship I don't that's

44:38

amazing right that's 10 years later than what we've been told so sure like maybe your amh is low or maybe you know maybe

44:45

you're you're probably not going to do well with traditional IVF and I would never recommend it um women in their mid

44:51

40s tend to do better with like the iuis or trying to conceive at home or the mini ivfs things like that there's also

44:58

so much Innovation happening right now that's also like taking my breath away most of the time like I've had I've had

45:04

multiple people do ovarian stem cell treatments whether in the US or outside of the US I've had multiple women with

45:09

like premature ovarian failure doing the ovarian PRP or the stem cell treatments and it's not working for every single

45:16

person but I'd still say it's like the data coming out is still showing like 50% of people that are undergoing these

45:22

treatments it is having positive impacts on that's a sign W that's exciting that's very exciting and you know to

45:29

just and to think about like wait are we really running out of eggs um you know and then to go into regenerative

45:34

Medicine of like but there's actually things we can do that are anti-aging like we're seeing a lot of this cool research um and it's again not to say

45:42

like yeah you take all the time in the world that you want um I still think we want to be smart and proactive about it

45:47

but I think this like pressure of 35 and it being over I would like us to to put that at

45:55

like 42 43 44 45 I don't feel that way but I mean from the medical perspective I would hope that they start to shift

46:01

that number up yes yes or that it's less about age because I that's what I really feel like it's less about age and it's

46:07

more about overall health right and these underlying conditions and typically when we find them and we treat

46:13

them things change and so yeah and I think having and I'd like you quickly before I know not quickly because

46:19

there's a lot you can do and I totally anyone listening recommend all of Amy's books because they're just so amazing

Importance of lifestyle for fertility

46:24

informative and helpful um just a few things that women who are listening who

46:30

are maybe thinking about egg freezing or about to go through IVF like some of the things they can do to help improve their

46:35

egg quality because I think for me that had I known all things I know now through reading your books and I know

46:41

time definitely comes up and it's sort of puts this pressure but I would have done all I would have waited like three

46:46

months and done all of these things that I've learned through your books and then done my retrieval or or then done my IVF

46:52

round so if you could quickly share a few and again I recommend all your books to every and I think anyone listening

46:58

should get them because they're really really helpful and you break it everything down in a way that is not

47:03

overwhelming it's so manageable it's so digestible it's it makes it really easy to understand and Implement so um I know

47:11

you offer a lot in those books so anything yeah I think I think books but I mean I think if I had to break it down

47:17

what I see as being super duper important for quality and hormones that like most women are not prioritizing

47:24

when they get to me um and they read the books and they they're listening to the podcast and they're doing all the things

47:29

but they still are like oh it doesn't really apply to me you know it's like no no it does um sleep sleep sleep sleep

47:35

get to bed before 11 o'clock sleep seven to eight hours no excuses that's it sleep in complete darkness make sure you

47:42

are rested um and and period end of story no devices in the bedroom no

47:49

devices before bed where your blue light glasses and that all is in that sleep category um it screws up your hormones

47:56

like something fierce and we cannot it's so hard to get ahead of it if you do not

48:02

sleep um and don't kind of have good sleep hygiene which includes that the blue light glasses like it's okay to

48:08

watch TV from a distance in a half hour leading up to bed if if that's something

48:13

that's like you know a ritual but like reading on a device being on your phone in your bed no boy no um I've been for

48:21

your mental health that is so bad I'll even say for my clients like to scroll Instagram and then try to

48:26

go to sleep it's just like not not the best thing no even like I have I have a child and and he's into devices now like

48:33

he just got one and if he doesn't wear his blue light glasses and he plays at like five o'clock for 45 minutes so it's

48:40

three hours before bedtime if he doesn't wear his blue ey glasses he cannot fall asleep at night wow it's a struggle for

48:48

him and and we've drawn the correlation my husband of course is like Amy that's you being your crazy self and I was like

48:54

just watch and then he's like my husband's totally on board now he's like you're 100% right these blue light glasses make all the difference so I

49:01

think personally when the Sun starts to go down these glasses go on if you're on screens so that's number one number two

49:08

um would be to stop skipping meals and stop intermittent fasting um don't go

49:13

more than a 12 to 14 hour fast and please eat protein um for all my vegetarians out there if you are trying

49:19

to get pregnant and you are struggling to get pregnant vegetarianism is not working for you I love you I respect

49:24

your ethics I respect your beliefs you got to figure out a way to get more protein in

49:31

um and you know that's that uh and then I would say number three is you got to

49:36

work on the nervous system um yeah really got to work on that emotional piece that one is the

49:42

hardest for everyone everyone just wants like a tool to do a supplement to take um you know a a procedure you know and

49:50

it's like the nervous system again is like one of those things that if if you

49:55

are in a chronic state of fighter flight it's just not going to be fertility is

Emotional challenges in fertility journey

50:01

not going to get prioritized and I think most women especially like this

50:06

generation if you will it's like we're all you

50:11

know we all have careers we all have you know high level degrees we all also have

50:17

like a side hustle then we're also in a partnership and then we're also maybe already moms and trying to build like

50:23

there's a lot and then you're maybe managing your parents now and you're you know I mean there's so many things and

50:28

so whatever it is that you need to do for nervous system work and that's I

50:34

talk about that a lot is like the emotional inflammation piece it's just again that's a really hard thing to outs

50:40

supplement or out diet your way around you know yeah and I think like to your point that's sort of the hardest piece I

50:47

think a lot of the women that I've been on here I've spoken to are really like highly successful ambitious type A doing

50:53

a million things like you said and so you give us something prescriptive we'll do it and we'll stick to it but I think

50:58

yeah that's that social emotional piece it can be very very hard and I think about all the women I've interviewed I

51:04

mean mostly like New York City New York City area or La we are in LA and and it is say that same like hustle like

51:10

constantly hustling constantly doing a million things like always filling our plate up and I thought back for myself

51:16

like the two months two and a half three months that I was doing these transfers probably the most stressful times of my

51:22

life yeah I remember saying to myself I my first was in November and I had so

51:27

much going on I remember being in the thick of it and I was like and one it was like just not a good experience I changed clinics that was like I shared

51:34

that on my solo episode but I there were moments when I'm in the middle of it and I'm like why did I do it this month and

51:41

it was my impatience I didn't want to wait and so and that's it's like checking yourself too and it's like and

51:47

also forgiving yourself like I I would put forgiveness in that category of that nervous system work where it's

51:53

like you know you can look back now and say that but like to beat yourself up for it continuously is probably you know

52:00

the worst thing you can do and you know that it's just more like I was doing the best I could from my level of

52:06

Consciousness at that moment in time and and I feel anxious or rushed because I

52:11

want this child so bad you know and so meeting yourself with that level of like understanding and compassion I think is

52:17

highly powerful um and it's also just like okay it it is what it is um it's

Empowerment and advocacy in fertility treatment

52:24

it's not the only opportunity I've ever had or or will have and so like to come back to that like Okay and like yeah

52:30

sure I can have some I I wouldn't like you to have regret but like I can see how I can do it differently going

52:35

forward that's how I would yeah and that was that's totally it and that's all that you know to keep myself in a in a

52:40

grounded sort of healthier state is all the things that I'm trying to takeaways of like okay I've learned this I know going forward like you know slow down

52:48

and and yeah I'm really just trying to take this all as learnings and also things that I can pay forward because if

52:53

I can prevent one woman from going through what I went through I I'm I'm happy to do that and continuing to share

52:59

what I learned so I so appreciate you being here and sharing all that you know I think it empowers women with more

53:04

knowledge and you know advocacy and a voice to be in doctor's office and not just settling for don't worry about it

53:10

or I don't know yeah no no don't settle for that yeah well thank you so much for

53:16

being here before we wrap up can you just tell everybody where to find you or how to work with you or someone on your team yeah I think everything's on my

53:22

website amy.com and um you can find my books on am Amazon I think is one of the

53:27

best places or on my website and yeah I think follow me on Instagram I'm also on

53:33

Tik Tok I've been a little lacks on Tik Tok lately but um those are my two platforms that I kind of have the most

53:38

if you will fun with and really you know I think I give a lot of really I think solid good free information so even just

53:46

following me there I think can be very inspirational and I'm always giving away like PDFs and video series and things

53:52

like that so you know um I know there's a lot of us out there there now and it's hard to find like who to trust and and

53:59

who to so see if I'm the right fit for you and I totally get that if I'm not you know um but but yeah and and you

54:08

know hang in there that's what I would say hang in there don't let other people

54:13

tell you what your timeline is oh I love that I think that's a perfect place to wrap up and end thank you Amy so much

54:19

for being here I appreciate it if you're someone struggling or relating to the topics that we're

54:24

talking about now and you're feeling the anxi or the stress or the pressure of feeling like you're running out of time

54:30

you're behind and you want some extra support check out my group therapy practice in Midtown Manhattan NYC

54:37

therapeutic Wellness we have an amazing team of clinicians ready to support you in your journey to help you feel more

54:44

grounded to help you feel more grateful to help you feel like you're just exactly where you need to be so check us

54:50

out at www.nyc therapeutic wellness.com

54:55

[Music]

‍